Send legible confessions, apologies, and accusations of 400 words or less, changing the names of the innocent and guilty, to "I, Anonymous," c/o The Stranger, 1535 11th Ave., 3rd floor, Seattle WA 98122, or e-mail us at Cobain Murder Theory #17Witchcraft was involved in Kurt Cobain's demise. Some kind of spell was cast without him knowing (that's always the case). However, I don't believe it was black magic, because it doesn't work if the subject is undeserving. NO -- I think it was those white-trash Wiccans -- misguided, young, dumb ones with a big Christian guilt complex. They are typical, sneaky assholes with delusions of grandeur, which one must exterminate like white mice, or make them "repent." I am serious. Scoff if you will, but it happened to me, too. But I am a strong weed, and I have not one ounce of Christian guilt, because I was never exposed to that germ while forming as a sprout.

Anyway, for evidence, look at the liner notes for Incesticide, paragraph #11. How could someone like that shoot himself? But he knew something was wrong -- he just couldn't figure it out. Evidence #2: paragraph #13 -- Kurt had a Judas in his ranks, screaming and beating in the background, wishing he was in the limelight. Evidence #3: Pat Smear left the Foo Fighters! Why the fuck would he do that? (See paragraph #13.)

Listen to the "confessions" on the Foo Fighters' CD. Listen to "There Goes My Hero": sarcasm and jealousy. Look at the new blond drummer boy. Lastly, THERE WERE NO FINGERPRINTS ON THE RIFLE! (According to a book I read.)

Additionally -- go to the END's website, to the Foo Fighters bio, and see for yourself what an asshole "he" is. Then, everybody duck! (Quack, quack.)

-- Anonymous