Send legible confessions, apologies, and accusations of 400 words or less, changing the names of the innocent and guilty, to "I, Anonymous," c/o The Stranger, 1535 11th Ave., 3rd floor, Seattle WA 98122, or e-mail us at anonymous@thestranger.com.You're Not So Cool!We hated you in high school. Sure, you hung out with our theater crowd, but damn, you were uppity, and a drama jock right to the core. You were a good actress, too -- but that's not why we hated you. We hated you because you knew you were good... which put you up on the same pedestal as that year's Daffodil Queen -- who by the way, was also a bitch!

However, we mostly hated you because you tried to ban the crew and techies from the last cast party of the year at your house. And when we all showed up anyway, not only did you give us dirty looks all night, but I remember you whispering to your friends, blaming "those ones" (as you so poetically called us) for smoking in your house and being messy. After that night's "performance," I don't feel so bad about what happened to your Music Man script earlier in the year. Ha. Ha. Ha.

Now high school's over, and you think you're "all that" once again because you're an intern at the End. You think you're cool because you can get Silverchair tickets for free. You think you're cool because you follow DJ Brian Beck around like an annoying little yappy dog. Well, you're NOT cool, blondie, so wipe that self-assured grin off your smart-assed face. Don't forget: We remember who you REALLY are. -- Anonymous

i, anonymous