Dear famous musician sitting next to me at Bauhaus: There are a number of offenses I committed against you. The fact that I didn't and still don't know who you are enough to just text your name to my music-savvy friend, who I was trying to brag to that I was sitting next to a musician they might know. When I attempted to "make a call" to snap a photo of you and forgot to turn off the flash, which subsequently went off right in your face. Finally, that I just continued to sit at the table next to you and work on my computer, eyes down, because I'm too much of a coward to approach you and apologize for my weird voyeuristic behavior. I'M SORRY!

—Anonymous