I would like to personally thank you for the great sex tonight, miss.

For those of you who were not there (which, as far as I know, is all of you), I shall briefly tell my tale of tonight's escapades.

I was out with my best friends, celebrating one of their birthdays, when we decided to go for some late-night Ping-Pong at the local billiards place. When all the boisterous fun was over, my mates went up to the counter to pay while I put the tie and vest I had taken off in the heat of the game back on in the booth.

A stunning young woman whom I had noticed playing pool earlier walked up to the booth and pulled me by the tie into the bathroom, where we proceeded to have the most anonymous, passionate sex I have ever had. After it was over, you took my phone and programmed your number, saying, "There's more where that came from."

Holy shit. You didn't even list yourself under your real name; you simply programmed your number under "fuck."

Holy shit.

Thank you, miss.