I'm sorry, but I don't actually have cancer. I'm just too ashamed to admit that I have an eating disorder. I'm ashamed because it's such an irrational, unreasonable, and petty compulsion for any liberal, liberated, educated, mature, and self-realized human being to be ruled by. So, I'm sorry mom and dad, husband, kids, family, friends, colleagues, and boss. That said, what do you expect from a psychological disorder that's all about control and vanity but a maniacal manipulation of the image you project? So I'm sorry but I can't help it. And yes I know how fucking insipid that sounds. Plus, seeing as I have no mind to change my evil ways, I'd rather bask in your pity and concern than have to fend off your nagging interventions. And yes I know how fucking slimy that sounds. I'm a shit person, but it's a shit sickness too.

—Anonymous