Did you actually think it was okay to cross the line of our friendship and fuck me "just because"? I don't know who you think you are but you have some nerve telling me to get things back to normal and just be mellow. You have just fucked the wrong girl. Back where I come from, if two people fuck, it automatically turns into a relationship. But no, not in Seattle, the Emotional Fuckwit Capital of the World. Fucking is like getting a cup of coffee here. You can get it wherever you want and there is no such thing as loyalty. And remember when I asked you which one of your CDs I should buy? I was just being nice. My close friend told me about guys like you. Just because you were in a band, you think you can fuck whoever you want. Yeah, it's too bad you guys broke up and I guess you play your little guitar with some skill. But hearing your singing voice is even more painful than nails on a chalkboard. Does your ex love it when you sing? When I needed you the most, you were watching a movie with her. What a Hallmark moment. Did you fuck her that night or were you too lazy?

—Anonymous