You think you're a new kind of Andy Warhol. You mistake your ability to hold a paintbrush for talent. You mistake poverty for romanticism. You mistake ostentation for character. You mistake PBR for beer.

News to you: Graffiti and breakdancing are for 12-year-olds. So is rhyming with a phony Brooklyn accent. Just because you paint pictures of naked girls doesn't mean you're a revolutionary. And just because you freestyle at parties doesn't mean you're contributing to free speech. Just because you chain-smoke doesn't mean you're a "grown-up."

Finally, just because you have 2,631 MySpace friends doesn't mean you have any in real life.