You spend every minute of your free time stalking your loser boyfriend on the internet. You check his profile every five minutes. You got spyware for your own laptop to record everything he does on there. You have found out time and again who he is cheating with, what drugs he is doing, and how he talks bad about you—but you ignore it. You don't have any friends left because everyone got sick of you complaining about how horrible he is, breaking up with him, and then getting back together with him. I'm the only one who can't get away from you. So I am stuck listening to your drama.

Guess what? While you were busy sitting behind the glow of your laptop your 14-year-old daughter was turning to chatrooms to ask about sex. If you'd been paying attention, maybe you'd have noticed. A week later, when you were having some sort of MySpace drama, yet again, with the "love of your life," your 14-year-old daughter proudly announced to the internet that she had lost her virginity, but you will never see it, because it doesn't have anything to do with that guy. I could be bleeding to death in front of you, but if his "online now" light is up, you wouldn't notice. Way to go, Mom. Thanks for caring about me. I'm counting down the moments before I am legally old enough to get the fuck away from you.