To the hundreds of douchebags dressed like Santa for the Fremont pub crawl: You are assholes. All of you, including but not limited to the skanky Santas, the rude reindeers, and the little pole- smoking elves. How dare you come into my place of business and act with such belligerence and disrespect? I am making it my personal mission in 2011 to hunt each and every one of you down and go into YOUR workplace and generously rub my genitals all over every square inch of the place. When your boss tries to stop me, I will pull out MY megaphone this time, suckers, and loudly and obnoxiously announce that one of their employees (YOU!) had fucked, sucked, and shared their pubic hair with my patrons and I am just returning the favor. Payback's a bitch, Santa.