Hi there, I'm your friendly Metro bus driver. I also smoke a ton of pot. Not on the job, of course, and not really a ton. More like a pound or so a year. Some of you have a drink after work, I smoke bong hits. For over a decade now, I've been driving you around King County without incident and have managed to achieve a near-flawless safety record. The morning, the evening, and the middle of the night. From Rainier Valley to Magnolia to Issaquah to the Aurora Village Transit Center—and all points in between. Microsoft commuters and little old ladies and downtown worker bees and crackheads and all sorts of other spun-out motherfuckers. I've smiled at all of you and given all of you a ride. And I didn't give you a hard time that day you were short a few cents (or dollars) for the fare or you forgot your bus pass. And I waited for you that time you were running to catch the bus. And I've made your trips on the bus soooooo smooth and pleasant that a lot of you have taken the time to call or e-mail Metro to tell them what a wonderful driver I am. And I can assure you that I am only one of hundreds of drivers who smoke just about every day. You can tell who we are; we're the mellow and friendly ones. Don't worry, you're in good hands. We'll get you there! —Anonymous