Dear Asshole,

I just wanted to thank you for taking the time to delete my resume and cover letter as soon as you received it in your inbox.

I also sincerely wanted to thank you for making it as hard as possible to figure out who the hiring manager at your company is. It has made my job search so much more challenging (and as you will remember from my cover letter, I'm always ready to take on new challenges)! It was particularly thoughtful of you not to confirm that you had received my e-mail like I asked.

I think I'll just shoot a couple of e-mails off to your company president and let him know what a fine job you're doing, making it difficult for potential employees to get straight answers.

Did you know that there are literally thousands of websites out there that are willing to send you FREE newsletters? Since you've probably already given that open position to a friend/relative of the company's CEO, I imagine you now have lots of time on your hands. I'll sign you up to be on the mailing list for some of the information I have found most interesting. Some of my favorites are: UNIVERSITY DIPLOMAS! LOSE WEIGHT FAST! HOT TEEN XXX! OFFSHORE GAMBLING! HERBAL VIAGRA! DEBT CONSOLIDATION!

I hope you will enjoy these informative e-mails as much as I do.

Thanks again,

Qualified Applicant