Hey ex-roommate: When you asked if you could move into my apartment in the house my parents owned, I fully explained to you that it was FOR SALE. That meant that at any time IT COULD GET SOLD. You were there for about a year until the house did sell. You even looked into buying it yourself. Then when we had to move out last year, you acted like I owed you the shirt off my back because you were being forced to move, and you couldn't even pay that month's rent—$300! So, yes, it's me tormenting you. It was me who superglued the lock on the front door of your new crack house, knowing you would be coming home drunk! Yes, it's me driving you absolutely nuts by faxing you a few times a day for the past six months! You could have just paid the $300 and been done with it—but no. So here's a huge FUCK YOU and just wait till my next prank.