You and I are about to have a terrible conversation. It will be such a terrible conversation, you'll wish it had never happened—and that, somehow, you could build a time machine and take it back to the exact moment where life on earth began and curb-stomp the amoeba that started it all. THAT'S how sorry you'll be about the following conversation. What subject could possibly be so terrible that it would tempt you to eradicate all life on earth just so you would have never heard it? Two words, my friend: DONKEY... SEMEN.

That's right—run. Run as far and as fast as you can, because once we start this conversation about "donkey semen," there is no turning back. You will be staring at and lured into TV's darkest abyss, from which few people ever return. And if they do return? Insanity. But they are the lucky ones.

Okay, I warned you—here we go: Last week, NBC was scheduled to broadcast an episode of Fear Factor entitled "Hee Haw! Hee Haw!" and... you know there's still time to run, right? Okay, just checking. Anyway! On this particular episode of Fear Factor—which is infamous for challenging contestants to ingest increasingly disgusting things—twins Brynne and Claire Odioso were asked to drink the unimaginable: a glass of donkey semen chased by a glass of donkey urine.

Now, before we go any further, I feel it's necessary to state that it's not Fear Factor's job to police itself (it is called Fear Factor, after all)—that's the duty of its network, NBC. And up until the day it was supposed to be broadcast (January 30), NBC was understandably freaked out but seemingly on board with the donkey-semen-guzzling stunt. However, at nearly the last minute, they rightly pulled the show and aired a repeat instead. Censorship? Only if you think it's morally wrong to deny America the sight of a lady gulping down 12 ounces of viscous donkey sperm.

HOWEVER! That doesn't mean the stunt didn't happen! It most certainly did happen, and Brynne and Claire appeared on a Florida radio show to describe the semen-drinking segment in explicit detail. (Again... not too late to run. Pause. Pause. Pause. Wow. You're truly a masochist.)

So the twins were instructed to decide between themselves who would drink the donkey semen and who would drink the donkey urine—a true "Sophie's Choice," wouldn't you say? Unfortunately for Claire, she picked the short straw and slowly lifted the glass of donkey semen to her lips. Gossip site TMZ reports it this way:

"According to Claire, producers left the semen sitting out all day in the hot sun—and by the time she got to drinking it, it was boiling hot... which made the smell unbearable."

Still here? Okay, the story continues...

"Claire said it was extremely bitter going down... 'with hints of hay'—and she vomited several times before successfully drinking the entire glass."


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"As for how the donkey stuff compares to the human variety—Claire added, 'It's a lot thicker.'"

Welcome to the abyss. Soooo... you wanna watch New Girl? recommended