I love the Italians. I love their booshy mustaches. I love their "spicy meatballs." I love their Mafia. I love their Cher in Moonstruck. I love their Pizza Hut. And I love their way of running all their words together, like "fuggedaboutit" and "wassamattayou?" and "supercalifragilisticexpialidocious."
Unfortunately, the Italians (WHOM I LOVE) can be a weeeeeeeeee bit touchy when TV stereotypes them. And I hear where you're coming from, Italians! As a native of Alabama, I am so furious about the constant stream of stereotypical "hillbilly" images on television, it's nearly impossible to concentrate on mating with this pig. In fact, I'm so angry, I'm tempted to put down my moonshine and ask my sister wife (and cousin wife) to write an angry missive to the networks (since I ain't got enough learnin' to know my letters yet).
Therefore I understand you are upset by the new MTV reality show debuting this week, Jersey Shore (Thurs Dec 3, 10 pm). Jersey Shore is like The Real World for young Italian douchebags. It features eight "guidos"—their stereotype, not mine—living in a beach house on the Jersey Shore doing stereotypical guido things.
The show has upset the Italian-American organization UNICO, which thinks Jersey Shore should be canceled because it "relies on crude stereotypes and highlights cursing, bad behavior, and violence." The year-round residents of the Jersey Shore are angry, too, claiming these "guidos" are actually from New York State. Or as one Jersey native commenting on MTV's website bluntly put it, "MTV sucks! The real show should be how the locals kick the **** out of all the guidos every summer. There [sic] a bunch of ****. **** them and **** MTV. Jersey doesn't need this ****." (People from Jersey kind of talk funny, don't they?)
HOWEVER! Here's one thing to remember: If there's one truth we all hold to be self-evident, it's that REALITY SHOWS ARE NEVER, EVER "REAL." And while there certainly may be a number of abdominally obsessed, hair-product-loving douchebags in the world, they don't speak for an entire region or culture any more than Hogan's Heroes is an accurate depiction of Nazi war camps. (For that, I watch The Hills.)
In addition, Jersey Shore looks HILARIOUS—so follow this advice: Temporarily drop your disdain for stereotypes, pop open a jug of moonshine, and enjoy this trashy show with your wife/sister/first cousin and your pig/lover/dinner. That's my plan, anyway. 
THURSDAY, DECEMBER 3
10:00 FX IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA
Somehow Dee gets a role in M. Night Shyamalan's newest film—and I bet the surprise twist is that she doesn't.
10:00 MTV JERSEY SHORE
Debut! The eight "guidos" descend on New Jersey beach and immediately compare ab size and armpit stains.
FRIDAY, DECEMBER 4
9:00 FOX DOLLHOUSE
In this two-hour episode, Echo and Bennett (Summer Glau) have a surprising (and hopefully sexy) reunion.
9:00 USA MONK
Series finale! Mr. Monk hunts down Trudy's killer in the last episode of this fun series.
SATURDAY, DECEMBER 5
11:00 BIO CELEBRITY GHOST STORIES
Gina Gershon, Potsie from Happy Days, and Ghostbuster Ernie Hudson get ghostbusted.
SUNDAY, DECEMBER 6
8:00 CBS THE AMAZING RACE
Season finale! The winning team lands (and subsequently blows its winnings) in Vegas.
9:00 SYFY ALICE
Part one of a two-part retelling of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland—except this Alice is a master of martial arts! Haaaai-YAH!
MONDAY, DECEMBER 7
8:00 ABC SANTA CLAUS IS COMIN' TO TOWN
The best of the Rankin/Bass creepy-wooden-puppet specials featuring Mickey Rooney and the Winter Warlock!
10:00 TNT MEN OF A CERTAIN AGE
Debut! The horrible lives of fortysomething men, starring Ray Romano (who apparently no one likes anymore).
TUESDAY, DECEMBER 8
8:00 NBC THE BIGGEST LOSER
Season finale! The finalists return for one more weigh-in to see who wins $250,000 and a doughnut. (Don't eat it! IT'S A TRAP!!)
9:30 SYFY OUTER SPACE ASTRONAUTS
Debut! In this sci-fi sitcom, the military invites newly arrived aliens over for a pizza party that goes horribly wrong.
WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 9
9:00 FOX GLEE
Season finale! Quinn's pregnancy threatens the glee-tards' chances at winning sectionals! PANIC!!
10:30 A&E STEVEN SEAGAL: LAWMAN
After arresting a young criminal, Seagal accidentally keeps snapping femurs at a children's cancer ward.
