IF YOU'RE LIKE ME, you have no idea whether you're smart... or whether you're dumb. Literally hours can pass in a day where I consider myself to be a fawking Einstein -- but all it takes is one slip-up to turn me into Gomer Pyle. Therefore! It is with great pleasure that I introduce the I Love Television™ Know Your Literacy™ Exam. As you will surely note, there are no questions about things that don't matter (i.e. math, language, and world events), and there are buttloads of questions about things that do (i.e. television, television, and television). You'll find the answers below, so cheat if you want to -- I sincerely don't care. The point is to make you feel smart. So as long as you get all the questions right, in one way or another, I'll still respect you in the morning. Enjoy!

(1) What Facts of Life cast member has a name that sounds like someone cutting the cheese?

(2) In the sitcom Martin (starring comedian Martin Lawrence), what was Martin's catch phrase?

(a) "Wazzup?!" (b) "Word to your Mutha!" (c) "Whoomp! There it is!" (d) "Oh, such a flight of whimsy!"

(3) What sitcom saved itself from an early grave by suddenly having its main character up and go GAY?

(4) Knight Rider; St. Elsewhere; Boy Meets World. What do all these brilliant shows have in common (besides being brilliant)?

(5) Bruce Willis wore a toupee while starring in Moonlighting. Oui or no?

(6) Which series starred actress Tracey Gold as the oldest daughter? Benson, Growing Pains, Family Ties, or Mr. Belvedere?

(7) What famous single-named action hero was famous for his ability to get himself out of horrible situations by using paper clips, Styrofoam cups, and spent batteries?

(8) Identify the rumor most closely associated with Paul Pfeiffer (the four-eyed geek from The Wonder Years): (a) He was crippled in a car accident with Leif Garrett. (b) He grew up to be Marilyn Manson. (c) He robbed a porno shop. (d) He never worked as an actor again.

(9) What was the name of Blossom's best friend?

(a) Six (b) Seven (c) Nine (d) Seven of Nine

(10) Excuse me, but NYPD Blue debuted in what year?

(11) In order from best to worst, rank the following Aaron Spelling-produced dramas: Beverly Hills, 90210, Melrose Place, Models, Inc., Savannah.

(12) O-mi-god. Angela Chase has, like, the dreamiest boyfriend ever. And like, I'm so sure you know his name... right?

Answers: (1) Tootie! (2) A (3) Ellen (4) All starred William Daniels (5) Oui (6) Growing Pains (7) MacGyver (8) B (9) A (10) 1993 (11) Models, Inc., Melrose Place, Savannah, Beverly Hills, 90210 (12) Jordan Catalano from My So-Called Life.