When The Stranger asked me if I had any regrets, I first said no. I'm happy with the year. I played a big role in the Arab Spring and even Occupy Wall Street. How could I complain? I'm not just entertaining; I'm socially useful. But The Stranger is so damn persistent. They kept bugging me for just one eeny-teeny regret. Finally I relented, gave it some thought, and found that something kind of regrettable did happen this year.
You know that cat Macklemore, the ever-popular Seattle rapper? Well, sometime around May, he stopped writing real tweets and started posting all about his shows. I'm mean, it's cool to use me to get up in this world; I ain't going to put you down for that. But Macklemore's self-promotion takes boring to a new level. He tweets on and on about the last tickets remaining to his shows, thanking people who sold out his shows, thanking people for cheering him at his shows, thanking people for loving him so much at his shows, and on and on. Man, I remember the days when we would learn a thing or two about how the Mac was really living. You know what I mean? We'd get tweets about what socks he's wearing or where he just ate on the Ave. Now all we get is: "Only 20 tickets left to our show at The Higher Ground in Vermont...... get on dat." Or: "Chapel Hill, NC you would have made Michael Jordan and Petey Pablo proud last night! Thank you all for coming out! #SoldOut." Or: "This is going down right now... #Boston #soldout #paradise." Mac, come on. Give us the old Mac back. That's all I'm saying. Peace.