GODDAMN THEM. I was fucking poised to be both the ruler of homeless people everywhere and the go-to over-the-counter date-rape product of the decade until this group of fucking idiots in some Central Washington boonies town drank too much of me and ended up crying and passing out and getting ambulance rides to the ER. Aww, boo-hoo! Where's my ride? I would fucking LOVE an ambulance ride! Next thing you know, I'm banned in Washington State—along with Grape, Fruit Punch, Orange Blend, Blue Raspberry, Lemon Lime, Lemonade, Cranberry Lemonade, Grape MaXed, and Citrus MaXed—permanently. FOREVER. Then it's like fucking dominoes—the rest of the country in no time flat. Then my creator pulls caffeine, guarana, and taurine out of my recipe. Fucking HELLO, Phusion Projects? HOW ARE THE FUCKING HOMELESS PEOPLE GOING TO STAY CONSCIOUS ENOUGH TO FUCKING PANHANDLE ENOUGH TO GO BACK TO THE STORE AND BUY SOME FUCKING MORE OF ME? recommended