Microsoft head Bill Gates is getting involved in the music industry. Or his nose is, anyway. Former MK Ultra singer John Vanderslice has been threatened with legal action if his song "Bill Gates Must Die" does not disappear. The song is the story of a guy who blames his addiction to Internet porn on Gates, and includes the lines: "Teeny tiny little teens/Keep pouring out of my machine.... Someone made this inevitable/So for bringing me here Bill Gates must die." Vanderslice isn't afraid of the mighty one's legal team, however, and plans to release the song on his forthcoming album, which should be in stores early next year.

* * *

Death Cab for Cutie have FINALLY found a permanent drummer down in Portland. The band plans to debut their new find in February when they return to Seattle stages, thereby putting an end to their October moratorium against playing any more shows until the year 2000.

* * *

Thank God for Pearl Jam, or else this installment of It's My Party would be done already, so boring are these pre-holiday days. Never one to let ticket brokers get the best of them, Pearl Jam has fired House of Blues Concerts as promoter for their upcoming tour. It seems the band learned that the promoter sold blocks of prime seats to ticket brokers for some of their biggest shows in past years. This is the same promoter the Backstreet Boys have accused of funneling upward of 1,000 tickets to brokers, who then resold them for up to 10 times their face value. I love any paragraph that includes both Pearl Jam and the Backstreet Boys in bold type.

* * *

Let's see, what other dumb gossip have I got for you in lieu of something good.... Did you hear about Courtney Love getting hot oil poured into her ear? According to Allstar News gossip Miss Truth, it was Love's masseuse who accidentally did the scalding. Apparently the kneader burned Love so badly that they had to call an ambulance. Having once suffered a similar burn as a kid (don't ask), I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Miss Truth went on to say that the paramedics mistook Love for Courtney Cox-Arquette. I'm thinking it had to be the name thing.

* * *

Andy Prieboy, writer of hit musical White Trash Wins Lotto -- the story of an Axl Rose-like character's rise to fame -- is setting his sights on Seattle for his next bitingly funny satire of the music industry. The working title? Seattle: A Love Story. Emphasis on "Love," if you get my drift.

* * *

And here's a little holiday cheer for all you Young Fresh Fellows fans: A new YFF album is scheduled to come out early next spring on Scott McCaughey's Malt label. Malt also will release new Minus 5 and John Wesley Harding discs then, too. Which leads me to say once again that McCaughey is the hardest-working man in Seattle rock -- all that recording and flying all over the world, drinking, and playing with R.E.M.! Happy Holidays to all!