What does Elton John have to do with the Emerald City? Seattle is where he plans to base his forthcoming eltonjohn.com multi-whiz-bang website. A representative from his company was in town last week meeting with Real Networks, MSN, and other tech companies who hope to secure a partnership with Captain Fantastic, whose site should be up and running in March. Why March? Because the launch is set to take place at John's gigantic post-Academy Awards™ soirée, which anyone can attend without going to awful ol' Hollywood, simply by logging onto eltonjohn.com. Gee. Maybe I can log on and ask Winona Ryder what band/relationship she's sabotaging right now. By the way... have you heard? She's started her own label, aptly named Roustabout Records. Anyone catch her fawning over Jeff Tweedy on Leno the other night?

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Need a roof over your head, but not just any old shack will do? Looking for some real estate with a bona fide flashy-pants rock star pedigree so you can brag like those folks who bought up the Cobain-Love residence? Well, you're in luck: Afghan Whigs frontman Greg Dulli's Seattle domicile is currently on the market. Now there's a house that belongs on If These Walls Could Talk.

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If you're like me -- and please say you're not -- you always get sucked into reading those "behind the scenes" books about the Real World cast and crew. ("Suck" being the operative word -- nothing in those pages but more dumping on the underdog and lame poetry, blah, blah, blech.) Do you see any gossip? I don't see any gossip. Finally, though, we might get some real dirt, because I hear that several bitter members of each cast (those would be the interesting ones who didn't entertain ideas of MTV superstardom post-show. Hey David, you big mook -- where are you now?) are writing a scathing tell-all book about their experiences and treatment. A source who's heard the stories assures me I won't be disappointed in this Real World-related publication, because neither Bunim-Murray nor MTV has anything to do with it, though I'm sure they'll wish they did. Sign this release, suckers.

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The Breakroom hosted its first all-ages show last weekend, and was a better, more beautiful place for all its swaggering young hipsters-in-the-making working the room like they owned it. Unfortunately -- and ironically, some might say -- headliners the Murder City Devils requested the show be alcohol-free -- which left the over-21ers looking like Tourette's sufferers as they kept craning back toward the bar and then remembering it was closed. Openers Raft of Dead Monkeys kept us entertained, however, with their bloody nurses and a kid who sat at the side of the stage jamming bananas into his gullet with amazing alacrity. I saw him chew and swallow at least 20 before they made their way back up again. YUCK! No mess, no problem -- like a dog, he just ate the upchuck and continued on with the rest of the goddamn bananas. The next all-ages show at the Breakroom (this time with booze) happens Sunday January 30 with Moral Crux, Whiskey Sunday, Watery Graves, and -- VA-VA-VOOM! -- the Catheters, hottest boy band in town. Excuse me, but have you seen that singer's puss?