It's been a while since It's My Party has reported a true tale of debauchery. But we can thank one very prominent local music venue for providing us with this week's gasp-worthy gossip. Said venue was celebrating the season in traditional style, which of course means guzzling gallons of holiday cheer before boarding a Greyhound to a nearby casino. Hours passed and much money changed hands before the crew loaded their drunky asses back onto the bus and returned to the venue of origin for more partying. Hijinks ensued, and a first-aid team was called upon for the first--but not the last--time that evening. Those who had not yet fallen headed over to a nearby strip joint for some fleshy entertainment, but at least one member of the group felt the need to upstage the girls earning a living that night. A female employee who not only works in the venue we're discussing, but also plays bass for one of Seattle's much-loved bands, climbed on stage and proceeded to do what one source calls "the raunchiest pole dance in history," while stripping down to absolutely nothing! Scandalized (and no doubt titillated, given the salacious reports I've received), the hard-partying crew again aimed their drunken posse in the direction of their place of employment, and this time were surprised by an ambulance parked outside, lights flashing wildly as paramedics attended to another fallen comrade who had been struck down in the name of holiday celebration and cheer.

Things were much more sedate when Graceland feted the season, mostly because two-thirds of the night's promised entertainment canceled at the last moment. Dead Moon and Fireballs of Freedom claimed that inclement weather prohibited their journey from Portland, leaving the Briefs to bask in the glow of head-linership. They did a fine job, and I for one would have hated to follow their energetic set if I were either of the canceled bands. Karaoke went on in the lounge, much to almost everyone's irritation; the night's hosts had also failed to report, leaving MC duties to one very loud and annoying drunkard. I'll pause now to make a passionate request: Would somebody please make sure that Blondie's "One Way or Another" is stricken from all karaoke books? I just can't take it, or the girls who sing it, anymore.

The one bar and two restaurants that employ half of this city's musical talent--of course I'm talking about the Cha Cha, Bimbo's, and Spaghetti Red's--threw their own holiday bash, which featured none other than Almost Live's John Keister as guest bartender. Keister did a bang-up job, pouring some of the strongest drinks ever witnessed, and even stepped up to the karaoke stage for a heartfelt rendition of "Surrender," which had the whole bar singing along. Murder City Devil Spencer Moody MC'd, making sure not to run out on his duties as he had the night of the Graceland party. (Thank the Lord, because that very same drunkard was in the house and itching to fill Moody's shoes once again.) It was a drummer's wonderland as Love as Laughter's Zeke dressed up as Santa Claus, while Modest Mouse's Jeremiah Green stood by as his faithful elf, looking quite menacing in fangs and black eye-makeup. Hooray for the holidays, and thanks for the debauchery!