With all the talk going around about White Stripes frontman Jack White turning down a cool million to encase his puffy keister in Gap jeans (not enough polyester among the fiber content? Or is it just that the single, shiny, sweat-infused pair of red Sans-A-Belts have become permanently melted to the singer's booty?), it might interest folks to learn that Sub Pop cuties the Shins have sold the single "New Slang" to McDonald's. I'm not kidding. However, given reports that Sub Pop recently got in the way of Reverend Horton Heat selling a song to Levi's, you may think somebody's kidding someone around here.

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Local Seattle University student Duff McKagan is about as close to reuniting with his former Guns N' Roses cronies as he's going to get, by joining Slash for a collaboration with Izzy Stradlin on his forthcoming solo album. The three haven't played together since 1991's Use Your Illusion.

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I've only gotten about a thousand memos on this next bit, but maybe some rube out there hasn't heard the news: The Dead Kennedys playing the Ballard Firehouse on March 8 will not be fronted by lead singer Jello Biafra. According to a press release sent out by Alternative Tentacles Records, Biafra's former bandmates are selling themselves as the Dead Kennedys, asking for $10,000 guarantees, and then omitting the fact that Biafra is not along for the tour unless someone thinks to ask. Brandon Cruz (of The Courtship of Eddie's Father fame) serves as stand-in singer for what Biafra refers to as the "world's greediest karaoke band."

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It seems that the New Bomb Turks wasn't the only band suffering at the hand of its audience last Saturday night at the Graceland. At one point during the band's set, a fed-up band member left the stage and dove into the crowd--not to surf or mosh, but to rain down a multitude of punches upon an offensive showgoer. Meanwhile, over at I-Spy, the ever-more-handsome Bill Reiflin (the Blackouts, Ministry, and any number of recent projects... including a stint with Jewel--hee!) could be witnessed heckling King Crimson member (and Seattle resident) Trey Gunn.

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It looks like our musical city is about to host the opening of yet another recording studio. Owned by members of Alien Crime Syndicate, Orbit Audio is scheduled to open its doors sometime next month. And speaking of the ACS, singer Joe Reineke is paying tribute to Ye Olde Dayse of record-album hype by releasing a two-song single ("Ozzy") that will retail at area record stores (Sonic Boom, Easy Street, Orpheum, Budget, Silver Platters, Borders, Mother Records) for the vintage price of 99 cents. Those of us old enough to remember spending our weed-pulling money on 99-cent "45s" lean back in our rocking chairs and chuckle at the irony....

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Add to the rumor that Courtney Love and Frances Bean were to grace the March cover of the now-folded Talk magazine the bit about the Hole frontwoman polling fans on hole.com as to whether or not she should still call the band Hole if guitarist/songwriter Eric Erlandson bails. I'm sure the irony of her concern juxtaposed with her current lawsuit against former Nirvana members Krist Novoselic and Dave Grohl (she says they weren't important in the songwriting process) isn't lost on those who, like me, can't stop caring about such nonsense.

kathleen@thestranger.com