I've been giving this a lot of thought, and I've decided to come to a compromise with you. You're beautiful, sharp, funny, just a really great girl. My one issue is that you keep calling me "fag" in bed. I'm glad that you feel comfortable enough or whatever, but it's not that hot for me. Last time you woke up my roommate with the word "faggot" roaring through the house. After you escaped into the shower, I made some coffee, staring at the sugar cubes, thinking. I found myself slipping outside to your car, dumping a little sugar in the gas tank. I instantly felt at ease. So, I've decided that for every time you scream, "faggot," I'm going to commit one evil act against you, until my subliminal mindfuck eventually wakes you up to the karmic connection. Until then I'll feel square with you, fantasizing about pranks and sabotages while you get off on verbal abuse. Because otherwise, I think you're really special and that we could have a really promising future together.

--Anonymous