Kabab House, I love you.

There. I said it. No pussyfooting around the matter--no inviting you out for coffee, then maybe a show, then, say, home for a private square dance in Country Bear Jamboree outfits. No. You're up front with your love by serving such wonderful food; I can only reciprocate.

I adore your honesty. Start with the name: Kabab House. It's not "Turmeric's" or "Greenwood Pakistani Bar & Grill." Oh sure, you have other delicacies--you're so accommodating--but kababs are definitely what is in your house. (Though American Heritage spells it "kebabs," I shall continue to spell it "kababs" in honor of your meaty morsels.) And when you say an item is hot, it is hot, which is why you offer a choice of mild, medium, or hot spices--because you care.

You don't doll yourself up to impress people either. No music, no pictures on your pale blue walls, only the amazing aroma of meats on the grill, the clank and clatter and sizzle of magical cooking performed in a kitchen that's larger than your dining area.

Your chicken boti kabab ($8.50) and lamb boti kabab ($10.50)--meat marinated in yogurt, garlic, and spices, served with rice, a simple iceberg salad, and moon-sized naan--are wonders to behold. I smile at the playful slap-and-tickle of your sauces on my taste buds--first the passionate fire of the red chili sauce, then the cool, soothing embrace of the green yogurt sauce. Passion, embrace, passion, embrace. Oh! Yes, yes, your beef boti roll ($4.95) is an excellent deal, and yes, I should try your chicken tikka masala ($10.95), I know, I know--stop nagging me with that menu of yours!

Oh, dear. I'm sorry. Wait, don't go. Please--how about just one more kabab... for old time's sake?