MONDAY, APRIL 29 The week kicks off with this game-changing admission from professional basketball player Jason Collins: "I'm a 34-year-old NBA center. I'm black. And I'm gay," Collins revealed in Sports Illustrated today, stunning thousands of sports lovers and dominating national and international headlines for days. Collins isn't the only openly gay athlete, but he is the first male athlete in a major American professional sport to come out, and in a culture that worships pro athletes as virile gods while largely stereotyping gay men as limp-wristed drama queens, Collins's admission is transformative. Perhaps even more transformative was the support showed to Collins by fans and teammates. "Proud of @jasoncollins34. Don't suffocate who u r because of the ignorance of others," tweeted LA Lakers guard Kobe Bryant, while college basketball player Chris Burke tweeted, "I find it oddly encouraging that most of the early comments on the Jason Collins cover are about what a crummy player he is." (Us, too!) Meanwhile, rapper and professional weirdo Lil Wayne offered these sane, if garbled, words on Collins's sexuality: "It's opening a lot of doors and it's showing that it's a fair world out there. Just to see how many people came to his support and things like that, that's a pretty fair world out there. Be you."

•• In related news, on Sunday's Meet the Press, NFL linebacker and gay-rights activist Brendon Ayanbadejo will discuss how he's helping coordinate the coming-out announcements for four current NFL players in the not-too-distant future, hopefully in the form of a masked debutante ball. Stay tuned!

TUESDAY, APRIL 30 Segueing from professional victories to personal nightmares, today brings reports of an Irish woman who gave birth to twin girls nearly three months apart. Details come from the Daily Mail, which explains that the first twin was born four months premature last June, after which, "My contractions just stopped dead—it was like I'd never even given birth," the half-pregnant new mother, Maria Jones-Elliott, told the Daily Mail. Thanks to science and Kegels, the second twin kept incubating in utero for another 87 days before being born in August. The successful births scored the family a Guinness World Record for "longest interval between the birth of twins."

•• In much worse news, today also brings reports of a death by meat blender at a meat-processing plant outside of Portland, Oregon. Forty-one-year-old Hugo Avalos-Chanon was reportedly cleaning inside Interstate Meat Distributors last Friday night when "he fell into the blender, which was in operation at the time," reports Christianpost.com. Avalos-Chanon died from "blunt-force injuries and chopping wounds," a deputy state medical examiner told the paper.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 1 Speaking of stomach-churning horrors, two Washington men are accused of raping a woman with a vodka bottle in a Tukwila motel, reports Seattlepi.com today. Charging papers state that law enforcement were at the Great Bear Motel on an unrelated call on April 23 when a woman "rushed out of a room crying hysterically and unable to speak," according to Seattlepi.com. "She rushed to the officers and pleaded that they get her out of there." The woman explained to police that she'd been drinking with a man later identified as David Eimer, a 23-year-old convicted child molester, and his friend, Nathan Everybodytalksabout, in Everybodytalksabout's hotel room. As a Tukwila detective would eventually explain to the court, "Eimer and Everybodytalksabout, 26, told her she would have to have sex with them if she wanted to leave the motel room," reports Seattlepi.com. When she refused, Everybodytalksabout allegedly pinned the woman down as Eimer allegedly raped her with a full vodka bottle. Charging papers state that the two men were arrested at the scene, where they denied raping the victim. "The woman cowered behind police and sobbed uncontrollably as an officer removed the men from the area," Seattlepi.com says. Police recovered the vodka bottle, and both men were charged with second-degree rape.

THURSDAY, MAY 2 The week continues with good news for pit bull owners, as reports surfaced of a man fighting off a Labrador retriever mix that was brutally attacking his wife. Caren and Laine Henry were out walking their beagle in rural Iowa when the 50-pound dog, named Buddy, bounded from a yard, biting the woman's thigh and abdomen before it "went for her face," reports DesMoinesRegister.com. The dog "clamped on her nose and tore it off." Laine Henry fought to pull the aggressive dog off his wife, sustaining a deep bite on his arm before "he finally had to bite the dog in its nose, and it let loose," his ravaged wife explained from her hospital bed. Unfortunately, the county where the attack took place doesn't have a vicious dog ordinance that would impose criminal penalties on the dog's owner. Buddy is simply under two weeks of house arrest, while doctors plan the first of many surgeries needed to build Caren Henry a new nose out of her ear.

FRIDAY, MAY 3 Today brings a remarkable stretch of nice weather in Washington, a development that one Bellingham school took full advantage of by declaring Friday a "Sun Day" and canceling classes for its 205 students. "SCHOOL CANCELLED DUE TO GREAT WEATHER! WAHOOO!" announced Bellingham Christian School on its website. "Yeah! It's a Sun Day today and everyone gets the day off from school!" School continued as normal for the state's thousands of other students unlucky enough to attend our underfunded public schools.

SATURDAY, MAY 4 Nothing much happened today.

SUNDAY, MAY 5 Today was Cinco de Mayo, a Mexican holiday Last Days celebrated by stopping Seattle revelers on the street Saturday and asking them a simple question: "What does Cinco de Mayo commemorate?" The most popular answer, "tequiiiiiiilaaaa," was followed by "Mexican Independence Day" (nope, that's in September), "spring," "immigration," "counting," and "war?" It actually commemorates the Mexican army's 1862 victory over Napoleon III's invading army at the Battle of Puebla, which only one sombrero-wearing drunkard out of 17 got right. Olé! recommended

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