MONDAY, JUNE 10 This week of falling books, busted stepkids, and bears behaving bearishly kicks off with a shitastically ridiculous story out of Utah, where a man charged with rape is clinging to a remarkable defense. Details come from the Salt Lake Tribune, which identifies our alleged rapist as Rodger Kelly, a 50-year-old St. George man who told police he found a female neighbor passed out on her porch last month and moved her into his apartment. After the woman regained consciousness, she contacted police with suspicions that she might have been raped, instigating the investigation that eventually produced this sentence: "[Kelly] told police he inserted his penis inside the unconscious 29-year-old on May 19 because 'he was trying to save her life,' according to court documents," reports the Tribune. He said he was trying to "get her temperature up... Police told Kelly that his actions amounted to rape." Charged today with first-degree felony rape, Kelly will be held at the Purgatory Correctional Facility (!) on $25,000 bond.

TUESDAY, JUNE 11 Speaking of highly problematic sex acts, the week continues in Washington State, near the itchy intersection of teenage rebellion and underage sex work. Details come from Seattlepi.com/KOMO, which report today's story was set in motion when a Pierce County man discovered a Backpage.com ad hyping the escort services of his 15-year-old stepdaughter and devised a plan to catch her in the act. "He had his sister's husband contact his stepdaughter, who was going by the name Diamond, for a date," reports Seattlepi.com/KOMO. "The man's brother-in-law agreed to meet Diamond in Room 236 of a Motel 6 in Fife and pay her $1,200 for the night, according to the probable cause documents. When he showed up, he confirmed Diamond was in the room before having her stepfather call police." Cops arrived to find Diamond in a room registered to Samuel Miles-Johnson and Joshua Jones, who were arrested outside the motel for investigation of promoting sexual abuse of a minor. As for Diamond, she reportedly told officers, "I'd rather go to jail than go home."

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 12 In ostensibly lighter news, the week continues in Seattle, where this evening Roosevelt High School held its graduation ceremony for the class of 2013. Invited to deliver the commencement speech: author David Guterson, who graduated from Roosevelt in 1974 and went on to write the best-selling novel Snow Falling on Cedars, and who gave the assembled crowd a speech they'll never forget. "Students and parents are still talking about the 25-minute address Guterson gave, which upset some members of the audience so much that they heckled Guterson from the stands at Memorial Stadium," reports the Seattle Times, which solicited feedback from attendees: "It certainly was an intelligent talk," said parent Diana Brement, "but the overall tone was very, very negative." "He talked a lot about his death," said senior Dexter Tang. "[And] about dying inside." But as Principal Brian Vance told the Times, it wasn't completely negative: "The message was about waking up and reflecting on your life and trying to avoid the distractions that we all have in our lives, and take the opportunity to think about what you want to accomplish." Still, as a school board member told the Times, "He did mention death a whole lot." To read the full text of David Guterson's graduate-depressing speech, go to Slog, The Stranger's blog.

•• In better news, today also brings a story from the Seattle Public Library, whose staff plus 27 volunteers spent seven hours setting up 2,131 books on the third floor of the Central Library, then gracefully knocked the whole thing over to set a new world record for the longest book domino chain. "The books used were either donated or are out of date, and are now being sold by the Friends of the Seattle Public Library to help raise money for library programs and services," reports the World Record Academy. Congratulations, librarians!

THURSDAY, JUNE 13 The week continues with the closing of a chapter of old-school Seattle history, as today Tiny Freeman—the humongous man with the humongous personality (and humongous beard) known in the 1970s as the "Mayor of Pioneer Square"—passed away at age 72. Among his many claims to local fame: running for Congress in 1974 using the Central Saloon as his campaign headquarters, DJing a bluegrass radio show on the now- defunct KRAB Radio, and becoming a beloved character in the writings of celebrated Seattle Times and Seattle Post-Intelligencer columnist Emmett Watson. "He is all the things you'd want in a friend," said musician and friend Dan Grinstead to the P-I in 2007. "He is very ethical, returns favors, and does favors without being asked. And I've never met a woman who doesn't think he's wonderful after first thinking he was gross." RIP, Tiny Freeman.

FRIDAY, JUNE 14 Nothing happened today, unless you count Flag Day, the non-federal holiday commemorating the adoption of the United States flag in 1777.

SATURDAY, JUNE 15 In worse news, the week continues in Alaska, where today a man attending a church picnic was mauled by a bear. Details come from the Anchorage Daily News, which reports the scene went down early this evening near the Eklutna Lake Campground, when a man who'd been drinking at a church picnic decided to go for a bike ride, taking some food from the barbecue along with him. As Alaska State Troopers spokeswoman Beth Ipsen told the Daily News, the trouble started when the man encountered a black bear, with whom he decided to share his barbecue. But after tossing a couple chunks of meat at the bear, the man learned that bears aren't good at sharing. "The bear attacked the man, puncturing skin along his jaw and leaving him with scratches on his back," reports the Daily News. "The man was taken to an Anchorage hospital, where he was treated and released... His name is not being released because he may be charged with illegally feeding wildlife." As Alaska Department of Fish and Game spokesman Ken Marsh told the Daily News, "The bear was pretty much goaded into this."

SUNDAY, JUNE 16 The week ends with Father's Day (all hail Walter Simon Schmader Jr.!) and an update on last week's story about Naveena Shine, the Seattle woman who made international headlines with her pledge to live on nothing but water, tea, and sunlight. Identified in last week's Last Days as "the world's laziest suicide," Shine took to her Facebook page today to announce her 45-day light diet was over and she was resuming eating food. Congratulations, Naveena Shine, for surviving your own idiotic idea and for turning "Woman Eats Food" into a viable news headline.

Dear Roosevelt High School graduating class of 2013 and everyone else: You know you're going to die someday, right? Before then, send hot tips to lastdays@thestranger.com and follow me on Twitter @davidschmader.

Eat meat with bears at thestranger.com/slog