Last Days is on vacation. Our guest columnist is Curran Dory-Gross, a five-year-old boy currently living in Ballard.

Today I squirted my mother with freezing cold water. She responded by running around in circles. This made me squirt her more. She didn't squirt me back. Sometimes my dad took the hose away from me and squirted me. It was freezing. Then we took a ferry ride to the peninsula. It was good. I forget what I liked about it, but I got to see my friend Tony. For breakfast I had some juice and some chocolate. At the beach I saw a mud crab and blue herrings and I played on a huge, big log. I got some mosquito bites. We didn't eat anything at the beach. When we got back from the beach I played hopscotch with my mom. I am good at hopscotch but I kind of forget some of the rules. For dinner we had some chicken. Then my dad read me some comics. I don't know what I'm going to do for the rest of the night.

This morning I went to school. Both of my parents drove me. At school we played with Legos. My best friend at school is Zachary. He likes to pretend he's a made-up superhero named Three-Face. I can't really explain what he looks like. We played outside in the sandbox, then we had cinnamon rolls and juice. I don't know what kind of juice. My other friend is Rebecca. She likes Legos too. Zachary and Rebecca are friends too, but I like Zachary better. My teacher's name is Mona. Sometimes she's pretty and sometimes she's not. I don't know what makes the difference. I like her a lot. I didn't learn anything at school because it's not a learning school.
After school my parents picked me up and we went home to watch a movie. The movie was Pokemon. It was about Pokemon. For dinner we had broccoli, noodles, and sausage. To drink I had ginger ale. It didn't have ice in it. I like ice, but this drink was in cans.

Today I played with my dad. We got up late, then we watched a movie, Freddie the Frog. It was good, because he became a frog. Before he was a frog he was a prince. He didn't become a prince again later—he stayed a frog. At the end his aunt turned into ugly shapes. She turned into a dog with big, big teeth and she bit her own butt. Then my dad and I went to Value Village. I got my first pair of overalls and some toys: a Transformer guy and two Ninja Turtles. My dad didn't get anything. He was looking for another pair of overalls but he didn't find them. The people who waited on us were pretty friendly. My dad talked to some of them. Value Village smelled both good and bad. Then we went to my friend Asa's. He likes to play with his dog a lot. Bingo is his name. His dog is white. I like dogs, but I like cats better. We got him a new rawhide bone that we bought at Value Village. It wasn't used. We played with each other and Asa's dad and a Millennium Falcon from Star Wars. I've only seen the original one. I don't think Darth Vader is scary. He seems kind of cool. My favorite part is when Luke Skywalker swings over the garbage pit.
Then we went to the Archigram at the Henry Art Gallery. I saw some crazy wacky walking things, and I made a blow-up castle out of paper. I made it with really thin paper and I drew a castle on it. It was like comic-y paintings and stuff. Then I saw my friend Tony.

Today I went to school at Mona's in the morning. I played with Alexander and Rebecca and Zachary and Legos and the action figure I got at Value Village. Alexander and Rebecca and Zachary all liked the action figure but they weren't jealous. Alexander asked to borrow it and I said yes. I'm good at sharing. Sometimes it's hard, but I'm good at it. We didn't have anything to eat. Actually we did have something: Pizza.
After Mona's I went home and I played with Tuuli. She's four and a half and I'm five, but I don't boss her around. Why would we be friends if I bossed her around? I like both boys and girls as friends for different reasons. I like boys as friends because they're more LOUDER!! And I like girls as friends because they are more playful.
For dinner we had corn.

Today we got up late, at 11 a.m. I didn't eat breakfast because I'm not much of a breakfast-eater. We watched a video. I don't remember which one. Then I played outside with my dad, and then we went to the Ballard Market. There was a barbecue for the Boys & Girls Club and I had cheeseburger. It was good, because it had cheese on it. I also had some potato chips and some Dr. Pepper. Dr. Pepper is my favorite soft drink. My second favorite soft drink is Pepsi. I don't have a third. It was barbecue for the Boys & Girls Club but there were no boys and girls there. I don't know why.
Then we went swimming at Magnolia Pool. I don't know how to swim, but I walk around in the water. My dad takes me out into deeper water. It's not scary because it's a pool and there's lifeguards. There were thousands of kids there. I didn't know any of them. To eat I had some Nerds, the red and yellow ones. Red and yellow Nerds are my favorite candy. The other kind of Nerds are my second favorite.
Then I went to a party without my parents. The party was at Brett's. He's not someone I know from school. He's a grown-up. I know him because he's a friend of my parents, and he is the dad of Tuuli. There was no food at the party.

I don't know what time I got up because I don't know how to tell time. In the morning I played inside with toys. Then me and my mom and my dad went to the movies. We saw Tarzan. It was good. The story was about gorillas and animals and Tarzan. These gorillas, they wreck this campsite. One gorilla died. Tarzan and a lady fell in love. I didn't like that part, because there were no gorillas there. My other favorite part was when the baboons chased Jane. They didn't catch her. At the movies I had popcorn. I didn't have anything to drink.
Then we went to the library, the Ballard one. I got a book of animal jokes. What do you get when you cross a fin and a doll? A dolphin. Then we went home.

Today was Sunday. I like Saturdays better than Sundays, because of the cartoons. I don't know what they show on Sundays, but it's not cartoons.
Today I went to the powwow. It's this Indian thing where there's these Indian dances and people are dressed up in Indian clothes. It was in Discovery Park. I got to see real arrows. I got to touch them and I even got to pick one up. The tip was tiny and made out of stone! I was surprised. I thought it was going be like an animal horn. I ate Tootsie Rolls. I think Indians also enjoyed Tootsie Rolls. They were good dancers. After the powwow, we went home and ate linguini with chicken.

I enjoyed telling you what I did all week. I might write a column again but I think I might like to be a cartoonist. There'd be talking animals and people with the animals too.

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Kids say the darnedest things.

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