MONDAY, JULY 27 The week kicks off with a long-awaited update on the Northwest's most resourceful bank robber, who first made headlines back in September 2008 when he carried out an exceptionally well-planned robbery of a Bank of America branch in Monroe, Washington. As history buffs will recall, the so-called "Craigslist robber" set his diabolical plan in motion by placing a Craigslist ad encouraging out-of-work landscapers to show up outside the bank on September 30 in work clothes—specifically, blue shirts and work boots. When the day came, the robber also showed up in the requisite work clothes, then pepper-sprayed a Brinks armored-car guard, grabbed a bag containing $400,000, and disappeared into the small crowd of men dressed identically to him, ultimately making his getaway on an inner tube he'd stashed by the nearby Skykomish River. In January, police apprehended and charged a suspect—28-year-old Anthony Curcio of Lake Stevens—and today, the guilty-as-charged Curcio was sentenced to six years in federal prison. What foiled the would-be mastermind: DNA, recovered from a container into which Curcio had spit chewing tobacco, matching DNA recovered from the bank robber's discarded particle mask.

•• Speaking of semi-inspired escapes: Tonight brought Seattle's first death by light rail. Just before midnight, a man threw himself in front of a Sound Transit train near South Holgate Street. Tomorrow, the victim will be identified as 40-year-old James Bohrer, and his death will be ruled a suicide.

•• In much better news: Today at the 2009 International Swimming Federation World Championships in Rome, Auburn swimmer Ariana Kukors followed her history-making performance of yesterday—when she set a new world record in the 200-meter individual medley—by setting a new new world record, smashing yesterday's 2:07.03 with today's 2:06.15.

TUESDAY, JULY 28 Speaking of regional athletes kicking the world's ass: The week continues in Copenhagen, where athletes from all over have gathered for World Outgames 2009, the international LGBT sporting event. Today, Seattle's Dean Koga was preparing to compete in the 4x200-meter relay—until some psycho hucked three small bombs onto the track. As KOMO reports, the wounded Koga was rushed to the hospital (where he underwent four hours of surgery to remove shrapnel from his hand) while Copenhagen police tracked down the bombing suspect—a 31-year-old Danish man authorities say they may charge with a hate crime. Tomorrow, a rapidly recuperating Koga will return to the Outgames track with a bandaged hand and will win a gold medal in the men's 200 meters. Coming out of an alleged hate crime with a gold medal? You rule, Dean Koga.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 29 Today brings acknowledgment of the week's most oppressive local news story: the history-making heat wave, which smashed records, inspired endless whining and sweating, and contributed to the deaths of two citizens. But Heat Wave '09 was more than just sweaty death, as the small army of naked people crowding Madison Park Beach in the wee hours of this morning made clear. Take it away, Hot Tipper Sarah: "I biked down to Madison Beach just before 2:00 a.m., and it was packed with early twentysomethings and rampant nakedness." What kind of nakedness? "Mostly gay male, but naked ladies were also present." Was it all hippie-fun nakedness or were some people trying to be sexy about it? "No naked sexiness, from what I could see, just splashing around and swimming out to the high dive and lots of Natural Ice." A half hour later came the requisite police crackdown, which played out as gracefully as could be: "The police showed up with flashlights, sending everyone scrambling for their clothes. But the cops were laid-back about it all: 'C'mon guys, gotta go, noise complaint...'" Hurrah for summer (even when it arrives via 96-hour sledgehammer).

THURSDAY, JULY 30 The week continues with the long-awaited breaking of Heat Wave '09, as several days of roasting gave way to a relatively cool and breezy evening. In a lucky turn of events, Last Days experienced this breaking of the heat in a most perfect setting: the Seattle Art Museum's Olympic Sculpture Park, where we'd journeyed for an informal late-evening walking tour and were met by two lightly ravishing delights. The first: the mercifully cool breezes coming in off Puget Sound, which unraveled the knot of whininess that had been throbbing at the base of our skull since Monday. The second: Richard Serra's Wake, the stunning collection of curved-steel monoliths granted an intoxicating humanity by the record-breaking heat the steel had absorbed over the past many days and was now releasing in tangible waves. Thank you, God and SAM.

FRIDAY, JULY 31 Today we travel to the great state of Kentucky, where early this morning, a family in the town of Kevil awoke to the blare of their home alarm system. As KFVS reports, the homeowner went outside to investigate but was soon called back by his wife's screams about the male intruder attempting to enter the home through the attached garage. As the homeowner told police, he repeatedly yelled at the intruder, informing him that he had a gun and ordering him off the property. Nevertheless, the intruder continued to advance until the homeowner shot him in the chest. Police arrived to arrest the shot intruder—18-year-old Andrew Barnett—and rush him to a hospital, where he ultimately died. "The McCracken County Sheriff Department reports the 18-year-old was under the influence of psilocybin mushrooms, or 'magic mushrooms' as they're called on the street, and thought he was inside his own home," reports KFVS. "At one point, he even called the home-owner 'Dad.' Charges against the homeowner are not expected."

SATURDAY, AUGUST 1 The week continues with a bunch of post–heat wave delights, including Seafair, the UmojaFest parade in the Central District, and the marriage of Tara Hayes and Paul Constant in West Seattle.

•• Also: Today in Rome, Michael Phelps showed the world what a casual pot smoker can do, becoming the first swimmer to break 50 seconds in the 100-meter butterfly and setting a world record with a time of 49.82.

SUNDAY, AUGUST 2 Nothing happened today (unless you count more Seafair and stuff).

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