MONDAY, AUGUST 10 The week kicks off with a brutal clobbering of the eastern hemisphere by Mother Nature, who today ordered the North Pacific Ocean to go batshit crazy. The results: Typhoon Etau, which struck Japan's west coast and killed at least 13 people, and Typhoon Morakot, which lashed the Philippines, Taiwan, and China, killing at least 500 people, with the vast majority of deaths centered in southern Taiwan. Meanwhile, both Tokyo and the Indian Ocean's Andaman Islands were hit with semimajor earthquakes that blessedly claimed no lives. A moment of silence for the many victims of today's weather-related terrors, and a hearty FU to Mother Nature for being such an abrupt and arbitrary murderess.

TUESDAY, AUGUST 11 Speaking of forceful women: Today brought an end to the earthly existence of Eunice Kennedy Shriver, the celebrated sister of JFK and RFK/mother of Maria who died today at age 88. With the celebrity-relative name-check completed, Last Days can focus on Shriver's life, which included earning a sociology degree from Stanford in 1943, marrying Robert Sargent Shriver in 1953, and, most significantly, founding the Special Olympics in 1968, an act that ultimately earned Shriver the Presidential Medal of Freedom. "Shriver was credited with helping to bring the mentally disabled into the mainstream and transforming America's view of them from institutionalized patients to friends, neighbors, and athletes," the Associated Press writes. "Her efforts were inspired in part by the struggles of her mentally disabled sister, Rosemary, who was given a lobotomy at age 23 and spent the rest of her life in an institution... Rosemary learned to read and write with the help of special tutors and for a while had a lively social life of tea dances and trips to Europe. She and Eunice used to swim and sail together. But as Rosemary got older, her father worried his daughter's condition would lead her into situations that could damage the family's reputation, and he authorized a lobotomy in the hope of calming her mood swings. She ended up in worse condition and lived out the rest of her days in an institution, dying in 2005." From the tragedy of Rosemary came the life-changing triumph of the Special Olympics, which now draws over three million athletes from more than 160 countries. "She believed that people with intellectual disabilities could—individually and collectively—achieve more than anyone thought possible," said Shriver's son Timothy. "This much she knew with unbridled faith and certainty."

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 12 "Okay," writes Hot Tipper Joan. "I just got off the bus. A few blocks after I boarded, a guy boarded and sat next to me. First he trimmed all of his fingernails. I thought of you. Then he whipped off his socks and trimmed all of his toenails. Quite flexible to do that on the bus. Oh boy. Then he pulled out DENTAL FLOSS and, yes, flossed all of his teeth. It was a truly awesome display of public personal hygiene. As I exited, he was using one of those little rubber-tipped dental tools to get his teeth really, really clean. And Metro wonders why ridership is down."

•• In better news: Today brings the birthdays of several notable humans, including "America the Beautiful" composer Katharine Lee Bates (born on this day in 1859), Washington Monument architect Robert Mills (1871), American film legend Cecil B. DeMille (1881), country-music legend and Hee Haw host Buck Owens (1929), country-music legend and Porter Wagoner Show host Porter Wagoner (1932), well-tanned actor George Hamilton (1939), bandanna-clad Dire Straits frontman Mark Knopfler (1949), and hateful space puppet ALF (allegedly born on this day in 1757).

THURSDAY, AUGUST 13 The week continues in Miami, where this afternoon at the Mall of the Americas, a 42-year-old woman doused herself with a flammable liquid and set herself on fire, then walked around, engulfed in flames, calmly freaking everyone out. "This woman is just walking, super slow, completely on fire," said eyewitness Jose Morales to the Associated Press, which reports bystanders used a pair of fire extinguishers to stop the flambé, after which the no-longer-burning woman—who was still conscious but largely naked, thanks to the fire burning her clothes off—wandered out of the mall and into the parking lot. Soon she was airlifted to a hospital, where she was found to have third-degree burns over 75 percent of her body. Also burned (but not badly): Three people who attempted to help the woman during her two-and-a-half-minute (!) fire stroll. Tomorrow, the self-immolator will be identified as Cecilia Casals, with Casals's husband telling NBC Miami that his wife suffered from "mental issues" and had recently sought psychiatric help. Court records also show that Casals had been accused of attempting to kill her ex-boyfriend in 2004 and remains on probation for drug-trafficking charges in 2008. Casals remains in Jackson Memorial Hospital with what are considered life-threatening injuries.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 14 Today brings some heartening news about one of Last Days' least favorite people: Glenn Beck, the histrionic Fox News Channel host who last month outraged millions of citizens by declaring President Obama to be a racist with a "deep-seated hatred for white people." The backlash was orchestrated by ColorOfChange .org, the political website whose executive director, James Rucker, blasted Beck's remarks as "race-baiting packaged as news" and pressed for an advertiser boycott. This week, Rucker's wish came true, as about a dozen companies have announced the withdrawal of their commercials from the Glenn Beck show. Among the repulsed: ConAgra, Geico, Progressive Insurance, Men's Wearhouse, RadioShack, Procter & Gamble, and State Farm. By next Monday, the list will include Best Buy, CVS, Travelocity, and Walmart. Viva corporate responsibility!

SATURDAY, AUGUST 15 Nothing happened today, unless you count the fully consummated office romance of Stranger arts editor Brendan Kiley and Stranger managing editor Bethany Jean Clement, who were married today in a (gorgeous) ceremony in Seattle.

SUNDAY, AUGUST 16 The week ends with a flurry of crime around Seattle, including the nonfatal beating of an intoxicated soldier in the University District, the nonfatal stabbing of a twentysomething man after a racial-slur-tinged argument in Belltown, and the nonfatal stoning of thousands of people at Seattle Hempfest. Condolences to all.

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