MONDAY, APRIL 16 This week of judicial failures, necessary updates, and thrilling cash prizes kicks off, as we are all painfully aware, with a horrific national tragedy, which unfolded this morning at Virginia Polytechnic Institute in Blacksburg, Virginia, where a 23-year-old man with two semiautomatic handguns and a significant history of could-be-harmful-to-himself-and-others mental illness began his day by fatally shooting two people—a female freshman and her dormitory adviser—in VA Tech's West Ambler Johnston residence hall. As police tracked a bogus lead—the boyfriend of the slain student was a well-known gun owner, and thus the initial prime suspect; what the fuck?—shooter Cho Seung-Hui pulled a psycho-killer stunt for the ages, mailing a press pack to NBC, in which he laid out his delusional motives on digital video. "You had a hundred billion chances and ways to have avoided today," said the clearly psychotic Cho. "But you decided to spill my blood. You forced me into a corner and gave me only one option." This option, as he saw it and history will never let us forget, was to takes his guns to the VA Tech's Norris Hall, chain the doors shut from the inside, and execute 30 people in cold blood. Adding to his rampage the shooting of himself, Cho killed a total of 33 people in what's been identified as the most egregious instance of non-war gun violence in U.S. history. The moral, as always: Psychos plus guns equals tragedy. The problem: Rounding up psychos is about as plausible as rounding up guns. Condolences to all.

TUESDAY, APRIL 17 The week continues with much less horrifying news, as today brought the announcement of the winners of this year's Pulitzer Prizes—or, as we imagined it upon first hearing the phrase in grade school, the Pullet Surprises, funded, we imagined, by some rich old dude named Pullet, who rewarded top achievers in arts and letters with exciting surprises. We were wrong: Pulitzer Prizes are bestowed by a board and administered by Columbia University and usually consist of a certificate and $10,000 cash—which is superior to stupid surprises. Congratulations to all of this year's Pullet Surprise winners, including the Oregonian (for its coverage of the tragically-lost-in-the-woods Kim family), Cormac McCarthy (for his Oprah-endorsed novel The Road), David Lindsay-Abaire (for his soon-to-be-a-Nicole-Kidman-vehicle drama Rabbit Hole), and Ornette Coleman (for his groundbreaking double-bass compositions on Sound Grammar).

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 18 The week continues with more bad news, as today the U.S. Supreme Court voted 5–4 to uphold the federal Partial-Birth Abortion Ban Act. What this means: The procedure known medically as "intact dilation and extraction" and popularly as "partial-birth abortion" (good work, "pro-lifers") is officially banned, and doctors who perform the prohibited procedure—which involves removing the fetus intact rather than dismembering it in the uterus—may face criminal prosecution, fines, and up to two years in prison. Bushies cheered, lefties fumed, and key dissenter Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg deemed the "alarming" decision "so at odds with our jurisprudence" that it "should not have staying power." Stay tuned.

THURSDAY, APRIL 19 "This concerns your writer David Schmader," wrote Hot Tipper CowboyKiller. "In the Last Days entry for March 5, The Stranger decided to post a bashing of two men from Washington. Their names were Steven Krienke and Aanoalii Filoialii—two soldiers who were accused of rape and sodomy. Well, my brother just happens to be one of those soldiers, Steven, and guess what? Today, on the beautiful day of April 19, all charges were dropped against all four soldiers in Fort Benning."

Quick Googling proved CowboyKiller's claims to be true: After careful consideration of the competing allegations and hard evidence, a Muscogee County grand jury refused to indict any of the four soldiers accused of the rape, sodomy, and sexual battery of a 21-year-old woman in a Super 8 Motel in Georgia, deeming any and all sexual activity between soldiers and girl to be consensual. Still, Hot Tipper CowboyKiller seems to be working out some deeper issues (sic throughout): "Eat shit and die you fuckin' fag lovers! These boys join the army and graduate basic, get drunk and are thrown in jail. They had no chance to tell there story. All they received were one-sided judgmental accusations." Good point, and like so many hollering thugs before him, when CowboyKiller cools down he becomes a remorseful puppy: "It would be greatly appreciated if you would run a small note saying these men have been released and no crime has been committed accept by those who jumped to conclusions. Nothing big, just something that acknowledges you can run the beginning and the end of a story, both sides. Thank you for the free paper and your time." Dear CowboyKiller: You're welcome. Thanks for writing. (And try to get over that reflexive "fuckin' fag" shit. It makes you look stupid.)

FRIDAY, APRIL 20 Nothing happened today, unless you count the NASA contract worker whose anxiety over a poor performance review drove him to fatally shoot a hostage then himself at the Johnson Space Center in Houston.

SATURDAY, APRIL 21 The week continues with good news and bad news. As in life, the bad news comes first: Today in South Carolina, the audience at an air show experienced what countless air-show attendees only dream about: the fatal crash of a Navy Blue Angel jet, which plunged into a neighborhood of small homes and trailers in Beaufort, killing the pilot. (If your anti–Blue Angels sentiment runs so deep you consider this item good news, you're forgiven.) Actual good news: Today in Olympia, Governor Chris Gregoire signed a bill into law giving same-sex couples a few of the rights that come with marriage. As we noted last week, the bill would create a domestic-partnership registry with the state, and give registered same-sex couples a number of enhanced rights, including hospital visitation rights, inheritance rights, and Last Days' favorite, the ability to authorize autopsies. In a nutshell: Washington's committed queers finally have their back-of-the-bus pass. Still, we've got to start somewhere, and it's about effing time. Sincere thanks to all who fought to make today's signing a reality, most notably Senator Ed Murray and State Representatives Joe McDermott and Jamie Pedersen, and full speed ahead for Washington gays.

SUNDAY, APRIL 22 Nothing happened today (unless you count Rufus Wainwright's gorgeous evening-length "rehearsal" at the Triple Door, a most fortunate collision of artist and venue, as the Triple Door's sumptuous midsized showroom provided a perfect showcase for this sumptuous midcareer artist, whose new work finds him more engaged and inspired than ever. As one who reported on Wainwright's previous, self-proclaimed "descent into gay hell" (featuring meth, ill-advised sex, and general self-hatred), Last Days is thrilled to follow up with a report of Wainwright's post-hell triumph. Thanks to the artist for making it possible.

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