MONDAY, FEBRUARY 28 This week of murder mysteries, federally defended offensiveness, and celebrity insanity on parade kicks off in Detroit, where today a 41-year-old man pleaded guilty to a series of crimes so creepy that even the most scabbed-over Last Days readers will find themselves shocked anew. Our criminal: Steven Demink, a former car salesman who prosecutors say posed as a psychologist on the internet to trick vulnerable single moms into sexually abusing their children for his pleasure. Details come from the New York Daily News, which reports Demink found his alleged accomplices/victims through online dating websites such as SingleParent, where he presented himself as a single parent and child psychologist, using a head shot of a male model as his profile photo. Of particular interest to Demink: single mothers with troubled young boys. "In one case, Demink started online chats with an Oregon woman about the sexual development of her 8-year-old autistic son," reports the Associated Press. According to today's plea agreement, Demink instructed the unidentified woman to engage in sexually explicit conduct with her son as a way to teach him about sex, which she did, while Demink watched via webcam. (According to court papers obtained by the Detroit Free Press, another mother complied with Demink's instructions to have intercourse with her 15-year-old son and e-mail him photos of the act.) Today, Demink pleaded guilty to six charges related to the sexual exploitation of children and the production of child pornography, for which he faces 15 years to life in jail. As for the alleged accomplice mothers: Several have been arrested, with one sentenced to prison after pleading guilty to lewd conduct with a child under 16. All of the involved children—ranging in age from 3 to 15—have been placed in protective custody.

TUESDAY, MARCH 1 In lighter news, today we turn to Charlie Sheen, the reasonably-successful-movie-star-turned-ridiculously-successful-TV-star who lit up the week with a multimedia rampage of crazy. The timeline: Last month, following another of Sheen's headline-making coke-and- hookers blowouts, CBS halted production of Sheen's hit sitcom Two and a Half Men and implored the star to get help. Rather than subjecting himself to in-patient rehab, Sheen opted to treat himself for drug and alcohol addiction at his Beverly Hills home, where, after two weeks, he declared himself sober and ordered CBS to resume production of his show. When the studio balked, Sheen took to the airwaves (via a call-in radio show) to attack the show's producers, who responded by canceling Two and Half Men for the rest of the season and banning Sheen from the premises. Which brings us to this week, an extravagantly well-documented parade of kamikaze interviews, outlandish pronouncements, and the visible dissolution of a human psyche, all lorded over by Sheen, who seemed determined to ratchet up the crazy on a daily basis before the eyes of the world. (Sheen's insta-catchphrase quotes are legion. Last Days' favorites: "I'm tired of pretending I'm not a total bitchin' rock star from Mars" and "I'm not bi-polar, I'm bi-winning.") Other people were involved, too: On Monday, following the first round of cuckoo interviews, Sheen's longtime publicist abruptly resigned. On Tuesday, Sheen's estranged wife won a restraining order against him (telling the court how Sheen allegedly threatened to cut off her head and mail it to her mom), along with (temporary) full custody of the couple's two young sons. On Wednesday, Sheen's newly created Twitter feed reached a million subscribers. And before any of this, Sheen reportedly passed a drug test, urinating in a cup before three employees of Radar Online this past Sunday, with the First Check home drug test reportedly coming back clean. Why this matters: If Sheen is indeed off drugs, his frantic, meth-y delusions of grandeur can only be attributed to mental illness, for which Sheen may have been self-medicating with recreational drugs for the majority of his adult life. Further bolstering the "Charlie Sheen is dangerously insane" theory: his well- documented history of terrorizing women, from his former fiancée (whom he "accidentally" shot in the arm) to his former wife (whom he allegedly threatened to kill) to his current wife (whom he pleaded guilty to terrorizing with a knife) to the paid escort he pleaded no contest to roughing up and flipping out on. By early next week, Sheen's contract with CBS/Warner Bros. will be terminated, with producers describing Sheen as "dangerously self-destructive" and "very ill." As of press time, Charlie Sheen is still alive and probably ranting via webcast. Stay tuned.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 2 The week continues with some good news for some bad people—specifically, the folks behind Westboro Baptist Church, the Kansas-based fundamentalist freaks whose constitutional right to protest military funerals with signs reading "THANK GOD FOR DEAD SOLDIERS" and "GOD HATES FAGS AND FAG- ENABLERS" was today upheld by the United States Supreme Court. As Chief Justice John G. Roberts wrote in his majority opinion, the First Amendment requires protection of "even hurtful speech on public issues to ensure that we do not stifle public debate... [free speech] cannot be restricted simply because it is upsetting or arouses contempt." To all those irked by today's decision, remember: Being a member of Fred Phelps's clan is its own punishment, and God hates no one as much as he hates the Westboro Baptist Church.

THURSDAY, MARCH 3 The week continues to continue with good news for Jews, who today found themselves officially exonerated by the pope for their alleged killing of Jesus. As the Agence France-Presse reports: "In a new book due to be published this month... the pope wrote that the condemnations of Jesus Christ came from the 'aristocracy of the temple' in Jerusalem and from the 'masses' who acclaimed Barabbas instead of Jesus—not from 'the Jewish people as a whole.'" Last Days has never understood blaming anyone for Jesus's death except God, who, according to Christian lore, sent his only son to earth to be sacrificed for the salvation of all mankind or something, thus suggesting that whoever killed Jesus was just doing the Lord's work. But whatever: Hurrah for exonerated Jews.

FRIDAY, MARCH 4 Nothing happened today, unless you count the trio of anti-police protesters arrested this evening in downtown Seattle after two of them allegedly assaulted cops while a third obstructed traffic. "The protest was yet another display of violence in Seattle following the announcement that former Seattle police officer Ian Birk would not be charged for the shooting death of John T. Williams," reports's Casey McNerthney. "The acts of violence are in contrast to the desires of the Williams family, who have repeatedly spoken out against anarchists and violent protesters."

SATURDAY, MARCH 5 The week continues with Seattle's second homicide of 2011, announced by this morning's discovery of a corpse on the empty lot at East Republican Street and Federal Avenue. "Seattle police spokesman Jeff Kappel said the 37-year-old man appeared to have died from an injury to his head," reports the Seattle Times. The man has not been identified, and no arrests have been made. As with Charlie "Adonis DNA" Sheen, stay tuned.

SUNDAY, MARCH 6 The week ends with a brief but necessary update on the revolution in Libya, where today rebel troops in the coastal town of Bin Jawwad were attacked by troops of Qaddafi loyalists armed with tanks and fighter planes, with at least 10 deaths reported by end of day. Tomorrow, Qaddafi will send his fighter planes to the rebel stronghold of Ras Lanuf. Charlie Sheen remains alive. recommended

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