TO EDITORIAL: If you're in Microsoft Word and you go up to the Tools menu, then scroll down one bar to the Spelling option, you'll find a feature that lets the computer identify all the words you've misspelled. It even helps you find the correct spelling in many cases.
Stranger Copy Department
[Editor's Note: We regret that the above letter did not arrive in our offices on January 1, 2004. ]
TIRED OLD QUEENS
TO DAN SAVAGE: Your coverage of the gay marriage struggle has been exemplary, even though the bulk of this week's special marriage issue [March 11] seems to be dedicated to straight people (assuming Sean Nelson is straight, despite what everyone says, and that Annie Wagner even has a sexual orientation). But thanks for all the kind words about what we're doing down here in S.F. Now let's get together on making the Democratic presidential candidate take a stand on this crucial issue come fall. It'd suck for Bush to win again, but it would be worse to get behind someone who's wishy-washy on the stuff that matters.
The Honorable Gavin Newsome
Mayor, San Francisco, CA
[Editor's Note: We regret that the above letter did not arrive in our offices on March 16, 2004. ] DINO'S DARLINGS
DEAR STRANGER EDITORS: I want to take a moment from my campaign, and thank The Stranger for your coverage of my bid for governor of Washington State.
I was certain you wouldn't be able to top Sandeep Kaushik's terrific profile ["The Salesman," Aug 19] that introduced Seattle to my softer side. The simple fact that The Stranger devoted two full pages to a story about me (I especially loved the photos--they really capture my harmless suburban-dad vibe) is a boon to my campaign in King County, where voters hardly know me. Even better, Kaushik's tame delineation of my conservative politics certainly won't scare off moderate Seattle voters.
So imagine my surprise when I opened last week's Stranger, and read your endorsements for the primary election. You went with Ron Sims! Thank you for siphoning off what little, tepid support Christine Gregoire had in Seattle. I pray that Gregoire continues to be the second choice of your paper, your city, and this great state of ours.
[Editor's Note: We regret that the above letter did not arrive in our offices on September 15, 2004. ]
THE PRINCESS DIARIES
DEAR EDDIE VEDDER: I apologize for requesting Ur presence at my private Chapel after-party this summer and then standing U up by sitting in my limo eating salad and refusing to come inside the bar [Live Wire, Sept 9]. (They make good salads there. U should try the one with the cheese and fruit. U will cream.) I had a cold sore that I got it from taking that saxophone player and, U know, "U got the horn so why don't you blow it" after a show one night. I'm sure you understand.
Peace out PJ,
P.S. I'm taller and U know it.
[Editor's Note: We regret that the above letter did not arrive in our offices on October 14, 2004. ]
TO ANNIE WAGNER: Yowch! Man. I hope you never live to be 84, or however old I am, and try something as challenging as stage acting for the first time. It's not like it's easy to do in the first place, especially when you're way more famous than any of your cast mates--your review [On Stage, Oct 21] just exacerbated an already dicey situation, so, yeah, fuckin' thanks a lot. Also, the Intiman is a huge space. That's why I needed a microphone--to be heard. You better hope I don't see you at any local fundraising dinners. Bitch.
[Editor's Note: We regret that the above letter did not arrive in our offices on November 1, 2004. ] RED STATE BLUES
DEAR STRANGER EDITORIAL STAFF: Your father and I read your "Urban Archipelago" essay ["The Urban Archipelago," Nov 10] and now we're really mad. Well, not so much mad as disappointed.
[Editor's Note: We regret that the above letter did not arrive in our offices on November 13, 2004. ]
THE DOWN LOW
DEAR "PENKNIFE": Plans continue apace to keep making the Seattle Weekly unbelievably, disgracefully shitty week after week, as per our agreement. The funny part is, since we stopped even pretending to care--did you see Dawdy's most recent loony bin piece? HELLO!--fewer people from corporate even seem to notice. Talk about a ghost ship… Anyway, loved Strangercrombie, and we've already talked about the "Urban Archipelago." Big ups in the Two-Double-Ought-Nickel! You keep up your end of our $ecret bargain, and this captain will keep steering this ship into icebergs. I've got Dawdy working another long feature. If that doesn't make the suicide problem around here worse, I don't know what will.
Skip (AKA "Mossback")