Oh American, you zink your leetle comics are so very, very cute. Vell, I'll tell you, ze appalling levels of violence in zese Peanuts comics vould never appear in ze Katzenyammer Keeds.Ven Ze Stranger sent me copies of Fantagraphics' Unseen Peanuts—a collection of previously unpublished, veird cartoons from ze 1950s und 1960s about mean-spirited children und dogs zat fly airplanes—und asked me to dissect ze inner vorkings of zis Charlie Brown, I said "nein." But, zey vouldn't leef me alone und I agreed to do zis sing about ze little kids vith ze big heads.
Indeed, as David Michaelis's Schulz and Peanuts: A Biography examines, Peanuts creator Charles Schulz must haaf been a very depressed man. Hees vorks appear to haaf come from ze darkest recesses of hees ink-black psyche. It is no surprise to me zat zese comics vent unpublished. Zese cute cheeldrens clearly mask Schulz's pent-up aggression—coupled vith an unhealthy touch of ze nihilism—und indeed, like most artists, he has some razzer large problems vith ze women.
In ze accompanying strip, zis Lucy's violence ees both sudden und unprovoked. She lashes out at ze young boy, und refuses to cower in ze face of Charlie Brown's moralistic outrage. Brown does nothing but admoneesh Lucy vith a few strong vords, vhich does nothing to prevent her from ze violence in ze future. Vat a blockhead.
Ze unchecked aggression zat Schulz glorifies ees not far off from zese modern-day veedeo games. Indeed, eef zese strips had been allowed into ze hands of impressionable adolezent minds in ze 1950s und 1960s, ve vould assuredly have seen a rise in pantsings, vedgies, or even ze dreaded purple nurples. If zis Fantagraphics cannot be stopped from unleazing zees Unseen Peanuts on ze vorld, ve vill certainly see ze the fall of Vestern soziety as ve know it. 
