The last few weeks, I've been tortured by the rise of frattish white-guy good-time rap (what's a better time than that, after all)—not because such a perspective or such a person isn't valid, but because I fear it will become the dominant paradigm in rap. (Not that the current dominating paradigm of mercenary materialism and degradation is any better!) They just don't stop, it seems. Instead of Wax and G-Eazy successively selling out the Crocodile, we have your boy Hoodie Allen selling out the Showbox on Wednesday, March 20 (along with Aer, Jared Evan, and Seattle's Shelton Harris). If you ever wanted to see Eli Roth doing Drake-aroke, then STOP: HOODIE TIME. Wikipedia tells me that he called his 2012 EP All American "because he credits his success to America." Yep, PRETTY MUCH. This shit is not just a lane, it is daily growing into a 12-lane highway—everybody else better get some good-ass tires (and spares) for the dirt roads they're going to be relegated to. Not sure what I'm talking about, dumb-head rapper? You will be.
Ah, I'm just trippin', right? I mean, maybe you're right. Oh, hey, teenage-Claire's-employee-ternt-rapper Kitty Pryde! You're playing at the Crocodile on Thursday the 21st with Lisa Dank? That's wassup...
The real money this week, in my opinion, is—and you might've already guessed—the THEESatisfaction, Kingdom Crumbs, Sax G, and OCnotes show at Neumos on Friday, March 22. This potent lineup, curated by our homegrown "DIY demigods" Cloud Nice, gets a good portion of Seattle's freest makers of hiphop (or whatever) together in one room. Catch up if need be—spin through the browser of your choice checking THEESatisfaction's latest release, THEESatisfaction Loves Erykah Badu, listen to Kingdom Crumbs' self-titled album (if you're like me, for the millionth time, and it ain't tired yet). I just told y'all about Sax G's fly Tu Me Manques, and OCnotes has so much dope music online, it's (going to be) a (federal) crime (someday). This show represents the antidote to the "all American" that lives here. What city do you live in?
French Montana is certainly going to be at the Crocodile the next night, he certainly is. I've never been able to take French terribly serious, but taking people serious isn't always necessary at all. If you like fur hats, leather T-shirts, and estate-sale princess jewelry (I'MA TAKE YOUR GRANDMA'S STYLE, I'MA TAKE YOUR GRANDMA'S STYLE), this is the show for you! Will he have 9-year-old ass-slapping Lil Poopy on deck, exemplifying how a generation failed its children? I DON'T KNOW. Also, one-woman band and MC/producer K. Flay (from the Bay) will be at the Croc on Monday the 25th, with WD4D, and she's good, but she's never worn an animal head as far as I know, so advantage: French. So whatcha gonna do this week? Stay your ass home? Make your own music that you'd rather see out in the world? Tweet? Make your next move your best move, or just do your best if you're being gentrified out of your neighborhood or culture or whatever. 
