Dear Reverend Buddy: My pastor says Hurricane Katrina was God's judgment against the wickedness of New Orleans. Is that true? What kind of God would do that?
The kind of God that's in the Bible, Ben—He often destroys sinful cities like Sodom, Jerusalem, and Hiroshima. As the Lord proclaimed to the citizens of Nineveh: "I will discover thy skirts upon thy face, and I will show the nations thy nakedness and the kingdoms thy shame" (Nahum 3:5). Then He flooded it into oblivion.
But Christ tells us that the sins of the fleshpots are a pale stain compared to the Satanic pomposity of pastors who revel in the misfortune of the poor and think they can slam the door to heaven in their faces. Look to Matthew 23: "Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For ye devour widows' houses, and for a pretense make long prayer... Ye serpents, ye generation of vipers, how can ye escape the damnation of hell?" The people of New Orleans may be atoning for their wickedness, but your pastor will reap his reward in the razor-rimmed anus of his foul master Satan.