The Catheters play straight rock 'n' roll. They revere the Rolling Stones, Mötley Crüe, and Guns N' Roses. Singer Brian Standeford tells me, "The first tape I ever got was Appetite for Destruction, and that was like in second grade."
Guitarist Lars Swenson reads rock biographies like textbooks, and quotes from them. He leans his head back and looks out from his heavy-lidded eyes -- it's a very rock star look -- and says, "You know like in that Keith Richards biography, they were at the point where they were above the law. That's the point that I wanna get to. He would fully admit he did drugs, but he said, 'You know what? I've never canceled a show and I've never passed out in public. That's just bad manners.' And it was to the point where if they ever got in trouble, their lawyers would totally bail 'em out."
Brian whispers, "That's awesome. Just like O.J."
Lars considers that for a minute. "Sorta like that, yeah. Except they didn't kill anybody; I mean, they were just doing drugs."
The Catheters don't have an ironic bone in their bodies. That's what makes them so endearing. They just love to play music, and they don't know what the fuck else they could do.
"Back when we were all freshmen in high school," begins Brian, "Paul [Waude, bass] and Derek [Mason, guitar] had their guitars for about a year, and we were just dinking around. Since I didn't know how to play any instruments at the time, they just said, 'Well, you're a loud and obnoxious guy, so why don't you just sing?' We used to just practice in Derek's garage. About two years went by like that, and we were writing our own songs. We were pretty bad. Eventually our drummer quit, and Dave [Israel] joined, and that's about the time we started playing music like we play now.
"We started to get better. Lars joined the band, and we started getting more shows. That's the only reason we get attention, now that Lars joined the band. 'Cause he's so hot."
"Shut the fuck up," Lars deadpans, leaning his head back and looking down at Brian. "You always say that, and like, you know what? It's not true."
They're all really mad about being thought of as good looking, but Lars admits he doesn't care if people listen to the Catheters because they think he's "hot," as long as they listen to them. The others agree, but they don't like it. They're a little shy.
The other sore spot is their age. Lars says, "All the interviews we've done focus on how good we are for how old we are, which is weird to me, because like, every band that I ever liked put out their first album when they were our age. It seems weirder to me that bands don't get recognition until they're 25. When 'Satisfaction' came out, Keith Richards was 18."
"I think it's weird finding out bands that you like are pretty old," adds Brian, "Like guys in their 30s. That surprises me."
"I don't think that's that weird," Lars starts.
"But, 'cause that's like almost your parents' age," Brian says earnestly.
Lars nods in concession, but says, "I'm sure they were in bands when they were 18 or whatever, and they just kept doing it."
The Catheters are waiting for their CD to come out on the plagued eMpTy Records, but they expect an October release. Lars brought an early copy of it into my office, and we cranked the volume. It just plain rocks.
"If I could pay my bills from rock and roll, I'd be happy," Lars says.
"That'd just be the ultimate," Brian says enthusiastically. He hangs his head -- partly a coy move (he peeks out at you with big doleful eyes), and partly out of shyness. "Being rich and stuff, I'm not saying that wouldn't be amazing and great, but just to be able to pay your bills and live off music...."
"That said, I wanna be bigger than the Stones," Lars announces.
"That's why nobody likes you," jokes Paul.
"'Cause I want a lot? Whatever. Like, I'm sick of people like that. I've gotten to the point where, being on tour, I didn't even care that I didn't have any money; it was just, like, so much fun."
