Sun Jan 8

University District

For many, the memories of 21st birthdays are blurry, involving gutters and bodily fluids and clown outfits. Perhaps this is why our hostess has taken her big 21 into her own hands. When we arrive at the apartment, she is decorating her cake and laying out a hell of a spread—saffron rice, hummus and vegetables, and a delicious punch of champagne, vodka ("Purchased legally!" she notes), and mango juice.

The theme is Fancy Dress and Cocktails and the majority of the celebrants are, in fact, gussied up in their fancy evening best, although the only cocktail that we see mixed is an equal-parts-Orangina*–and-whiskey** gut bomb. Many people are adorning their beers with swanky cocktail umbrellas and sharing loving stories about our hostess. Someone brings cupcakes, decorated with yummy Hebrew letters that read "Happy Birthday, Old Lady."

There's a little bit of a hitch when the partiers realize that the birthday girl didn't buy any candles for her cake. Panic sets in, but then a homespun MacGyver enters the kitchen and comes out with the cake, which is alight with five flaming paper umbrellas. Though smokier and... fierier... than most birthday cakes, the explosion of ash when the umbrella inferno is blown out is really most satisfying, and helps to create a classy—but not too classy—21st birthday to remember.

* Which, really, should rhyme with "vagina."

** Royal Gentleman–brand whiskey, which the Birthday Girl purchased for $3.95, explaining cheerily, "It's not just the bottom shelf, it's behind the bottom of the shelf!"

Want The Stranger to hear details of your penchant for picking up hippie hitchhikers at your house party? E-mail the date, place, time, and party details to partycrasher@thestranger.com.