The hostess welcomes me by asking what kind of drink I'd like—always a good sign. There are all kinds of beer, but the official drink of the night is a "Japanese Cherry Blossom." "Wait," her friend says, "it's the Chinese New Year." "Right. I'm making Chinese Cherry Blossoms. Want one?" No matter which country invented the Cherry Blossom—cherry vodka, lemon juice, and amaretto, for those playing at home—it's delicious and stealthily alcoholic.

Many partiers are dressed in kimonos or gorgeous satin gowns. One man dons a pig snout to honor the Year of the Boar. Another woman is dressed like one of those lucky fortune cats, which I think might be Japanese, but really, who's keeping track? Our hostess has ordered copious amounts of delicious food from Snappy Dragon, and people are happily munching on beef and broccoli and egg rolls. There are surprisingly lame children's fortune cookies. One fortune reads: "Best road is: no smoking, no alcoholic drinks, or no to unlawful drugs." Um, in bed?

For party favors, everyone gets a ring that shoots a powerful concentrated beam of light. These feisty little LEDs are great for a rave, but at first, in a casual party setting, it's disconcerting to continually get shot in the retina with a laser everywhere you turn.

Soon dozens of people are packed into this small condo, and the bright, multicolored lights finally achieve the desired effect: Illumination seems to come from everywhere at once, from everyone at the party, like being inside a disco ball. It isn't an authentic Chinese New Year tradition, but it's gorgeous. recommended

Want to tell The Stranger that "Exercise or sports may help to strengthen your body—keep away from unlawful drugs" at your house party? E-mail the date, place, time, and party details to partycrasher@thestranger.com