Being asked if this is the smallest party you've crashed as Party Crasher is a little like a guy asking about his penis size. You have to lie. No, this 12-person party is about average! But, really, size isn't everything. Whatever Alicia's Frida Kahlo–themed birthday party lacks in attendees is more than made up for with an abundance of enthusiasm, fueled by unibrows and an orange biohazard bucket of Panty Dropper, a recipe that has been handed down drunken friend to drunken friend across the eons (pink lemonade, ruby red Squirt, vodka, and PBR).
Have you ever wanted to see Frida Kahlo shake her booty? When everyone starts freaking with each other (and these folks tear it up to anything from Girl Talk to the Jackson 5), they morph into a hairy, many-limbed, sexual beast. But for a time, the dance floor must be cleared for—what else?—a game of Pin the Unibrow on Frida.
Alicia didn't know I was coming, and Erik, who invited me, is already blitzed and so is confused when I show. Nonetheless, I'm warmly accepted. Alicia's friend asks me, "So, really, you work for The Stranger?" When I confirm, she says, "I work for the Space Needle," which is awkward, considering what we've been writing about her employers lately. But after a few Panty Droppers, she invites me to jump on her back and we take America's Next Top Model–style pictures. Is there nothing Frida Kahlo and cheap drinks can't accomplish?
Do you want to tell The Stranger all about the time you saw a giant coyote in Fremont the night before it was caught and euthanized at your next house party? E-mail the date and time to firstname.lastname@example.org.