The invitation I receive for this "party and cabaret birthday party" is full of pseudonymsâAgent Rhinestone, Anita Goodman, Sparkleâand my first impression is that this party will be full of eccentric nerds. I walk around the outside of the apartment building at 9:30 p.m. and listen for party noise. Nothing. No one is on the porch, and the door is closed. I decide to come back later.
Arriving again around 11:00 p.m., I'm scolded by partygoers for missing their cabaret show, for which they had transformed the living room into a beautiful stage. The eccentric nerds, it turns out, are actually a swarm of professional cabaret and burlesque dancers celebrating the birthday of Melissa, aka Double Oh Sassy. The booze flows mightily, and the dance floor becomes a sweaty mess of women in frilly underwear. There's a boyish girl in a Cub Scout uniform making out with a transsexual man on the couch. The man of the house, Sam, is wearing bright-red leather pants, and at one point he rips off his undershirt like the Hulk. He says, "I build houses, I can pull your truck out of the mud, and I'm trained in ballet."
Like any great party, the dancing rages on into the early hours of the morning. It kills me to leave the dance floor, surrounded by scantily clad beautiful women, offering me all the alcohol I can drink. Alas, I must go home and sleep. I have to be careful not to become a workaholic.
Want to tell The Stranger music intern, "Those pants are doing great things for your penis" at your party? E-mail the date, place, time, and party details to partycrasher@thestranger.com.
