Dear friends, neighbors, and loved ones: It's time to climb down from the idiocy and condescension of your PBR high horse. Who gives a rat's ass what Dennis Hopper said in Blue Velvet?! There's a good reason PBR costs $1.

It's shitty, watered-down piss, manufactured by Miller under contract for a company that is owned and operated in Texas. Pabst Brewing Co. is no longer in Milwaukee, and it hasn't brewed beer for years. You're sadly and ironically being used in a marketing scam that benefits Bush country. The worst of it is that you're not even saving money, because you have to drink three times the volume of PBR to catch the equivalent happy buzz of a good ol' Oregon or Washington draft beer.

Swill your red-state PBR crap and line the pockets of right-wing executives if you wish, but please shut up because I'm sick of your attitude. I'm toasting my draft pint of quality Northwestern blue-state ale to you, in hopes that this PBR stupidity will end soon.