After the shock following last Tuesday's attack on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, an air of befuddlement swept through America as many people asked, "Who could hate us so much? Who could hate America?"

The answer is, many people hate us, and not all of them are Islamic radicals. A great many people--some of them crazy, some of them not--hate America for a great many reasons--some of them crazy, some of them not. Whether you're talking about American foreign policy, American cultural hegemony, or American English, it's not difficult to find foreigners who think we suck.

Below is a chart of just some of the countries and organizations that despise the United States. It is incomplete, but we only have so much space.

Who: the Angolan government
Where:
Angola
God:
Christ

Why: CIA-backed rebel forces have been trying to gain control of Angola's quasi-communist government since the early '80s. The result has been a nation in the midst of a brutal civil war for nearly 20 years, and it's pretty much our fault.

Who: the Fundamentalist Islamic government
Where:
Sudan
God:
Allah

Why: Severe economic sanctions, along with a massive (and rather suspicious) bombing by the U.S. during the Monica Lewinsky scandal. The Arab Islamic government based in southern Sudan has waged a brutal war against the African Christians in the north of the country. So feel free to hate Sudan right back.

Who: Canadians
Where:
Canada
God:
Hockey

Why: While it's highly unlikely that radical Canadians will ever bomb the United States (because there's no such thing as a "radical Canadian"), many Canadians express a strong distaste for Americans. In fact, it annoys Canadians to no end when Americans call themselves Americans. Canadians live in North America too, you know.

Who: Communist Hard-Liners
Where:
Russia
God:
Vodka

Why: The glory days of the Soviet Union are now but a memory. And we're to blame. And so is Gorby

Who: Aum Shinrikyo
Where:
Japan
God:
Aum Shinrikyo (the group's founder and namesake)

Why: More of a cult than a terrorist organization, the Aum Shinrikyo nevertheless seek to take over (a) Japan, then (b) the world (the U.S. included). A small group, they were behind the 1995 nerve-gas assault on a Tokyo subway.

Who: Revolutionary People's Struggle (ELA)
Where:
Greece
God:
Karl Marx

Why: As an anti-capitalist, anti-imperialist group, they pretty much despise America and all things American. As of this writing, the group has not taken a position on Canadians (who are Americans too, you know).

Who: Tupac Amaru Revolutionary Movement (MRTA)
Where:
Peru
God:
Chairman Mao

Why: Despite suffering heavy losses over the years, MRTA still fights on with such activities as kidnappings, ambushes, and assassinations. A traditional Marxist-Leninist revolutionary group, they are (and have always been) decidedly anti-U.S. Our support for the deposed Peruvian quasi-dictator Alberto K. Fujimori was particularly unwelcome.

Who: the Chinese government
Where:
China
God:
Chairman Mao

Why: While most Americans remember doomed pro-democracy students in Tiananmen Square erecting a Statue of Liberty knock-off ("The Goddess of Democracy"), today the Chinese population is increasingly nationalistic and hostile (remember that spy plane thing?). Also, our accidental bombing of their embassy in Belgrade didn't help matters any.

Who: the Taliban
Where:
Afghanistan
God:
Allah

Why: The Taliban are thought to be currently playing host to Osama bin Laden's World Islamic Front (a.k.a. Al Qaeda).

Who: Cubans
Where:
Cuba
God:
Fidel

Why: The almost-30-year sanctions against Cuba have left the country in shambles. Oh, and trying to keep Elian Gonzalez and stealing their best baseball players isn't winning us any popularity contests down there.

Who: the Iraqi people
Where:
Iraq
God:
Allah

Why: (1) Operation Desert Storm, (2) severe economic sanctions following ODS, (3) occasionally bombing the shit out of them in the years since ODS, and (4) the abandonment of rebel forces within the country following ODS. Said forces, who were encouraged by President Bush (numero uno) to rise up against Saddam, were left with their dicks flapping in the wind after the U.S. failed to back them up (and they were slaughtered, of course).

Who: Hamas
Where:
Israel, the West Bank, the Gaza Strip
God:
Allah

Why: A militant Palestinian group, they wish to overthrow Israel and anyone who supports them (that means us, too). These were most likely the nice folks you saw on CNN dancing in the streets after the World Trade Center came down.

Who: Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia (FARC)
Where:
Colombia
God:
Coca

Why: With close to 12,000 armed members, the FARC is Colombia's best trained, best equipped terrorist group. With ties to drug traffickers, along with numerous attacks on oil pipelines in Colombia, Venezuela, Panama, and Ecuador, they are very much anti-U.S., and would love to see us tumble.

Who: Japanese Red Army (JRA)
Where:
Supposedly hiding in Syrian-controlled Lebanon
God:
None

Why: An international terrorist group formed around 1970, they seek no less than to start a worldwide revolution, with Japan and the United States at the top of their list. In 1988, one of their operatives, Yu Kikumura, was arrested on the New Jersey Turnpike with a car full of explosives.

Who: The French
Where:
France
God:
None

Why: There are two choices: (1) The fact that France, once a great power, has been muscled into second-tier status by the U.S., or (2) our supreme arrogance as a nation/our ugly, stupid tourists/we support genetically modified foods (pick one). The French economy is wholly dependent on tourism, so the French are unlikely to act on their hatred.