Kurt Benetar
Four-FIngered man with hot dog bun
When did you first realize that you had Pizzazz!?

I remember working in the slaughterhouse alongside my father. Holding up his hands, both of which were missing fingers, he'd say, "Don't follow in me footsteps or you'll end up like your Pa, a four-fingered man." Another time he gave me this same speech, illustrating his points with a hot dog bun. My act hopes to celebrate my father's life and dreams.

Who do you count as your influences/inspirations?

My father, Patrick Benetar.

If you could have one talent besides the one you're showcasing in Pizzazz!, what would it be?

I would like to have a four-foot-long penis that could sing the national anthem.

When you get to be rich and famous, what will be your biggest extravagance?

A three-foot, 11.876-inch penis extension and singing lessons.

Can art change the world, or just make it prettier?

Prettier.

J.Lo: Good or evil?

Evil.

Bones Bironne
Lip-synch artiste
When did you first realize that you had Pizzazz!?

In second grade. While singing "Oh Christmas Tree" during a live school play, I pulled down my pants and peed on the tree, but I never once stopped singing, even when the teacher ran on stage to pull my pants up! Now, THAT'S talent.

Who do you count as your influences/inspirations?

Buster Keaton, Rowan Atkinson, Redd Foxx.

If you could have one talent besides the one you're showcasing in Pizzazz!, what would it be?

The ability to express myself on the flying trapeze.

When you get to be rich and famous, what will be your biggest extravagance?

My own island.

Can art change the world, or just make it prettier?

Both!

J.Lo: Good or evil?

Don't EVEN get me started!!!!

Holly Chernobyl
Queen o' burlesque
When did you first realize that you had Pizzazz!?

I burst from the womb singing "Life is a cabaret" through a mouthful of Quaaludes.

Who do you count as your influences/inspirations?

My mother Judy Garland and my father Mae West. And drag queens.

If you could have one talent besides the one you're showcasing in Pizzazz!, what would it be?

Talent, schmalent. I have mutant fucking powers. I'm a superhero.

When you get to be rich and famous, what will be your biggest extravagance?

I will buy an island and create "Perfect Holly World," where the sun shines every day and you get a tiara at the door.

Can art change the world, or just make it prettier?

I can do both, so pooh pooh on art.

J.Lo: Good or evil?

Evil. But God bless that ass.

Child's Play
Musical duo, with Michael David Harper on guitar/vocals and Pamela Darby on mandolin/vocals
When did you first realize that you had Pizzazz!?

Michael: I've been playing guitar and singing since I was four, and Pamela's mother says she's been singing longer than she's been talking.

Who do you count as your influences/inspirations?

CSNY (especially S), Heart, Joni Mitchell, Simon & Garfunkel.

If you could have one talent besides the one you're showcasing in Pizzazz!, what would it be?

The talent to negotiate world peace.

When you get to be rich and famous, what will be your biggest extravagance?

Gifts for all my friends and family, and lots of charities.

Can art change the world, or just make it prettier?

It's only art if it inspires an emotional response. If it touches people's souls, nothing can effect greater change.

J.Lo: Good or evil?

Can't have one without the other--some evil is really good!

Devangari
Reggae dancehall vocalist
When did you first realize that you had Pizzazz!?

When I got my first bit of recognition from impressed friends.

Who do you count as your influences/inspirations?

Jamaican dancehall artists Sizzla, Vibes Cartel, and General Degree.

If you could have one talent besides the one you're showcasing in Pizzazz!, what would it be?

Mime or acting.

When you get to be rich and famous, what will be your biggest extravagance?

Travel.

Can art change the world, or just make it prettier?

Art can change the world--that's part of my mission as an artist.

J.Lo: Good or evil?

Evil.

Hoden
Hiphop vocalist
When did you first realize that you had Pizzazz!?

When I was about six.

Who do you count as your influences/inspirations?

Missy Elliott, Mariah Carey, Brandy, and most importantly, my mother.

If you could have one talent besides the one you're showcasing in Pizzazz!, what would it be?

The talent to rap. It would be nice if I could both sing and rap.

When you get to be rich and famous, what will be your biggest extravagance?

My dream house, and my parents' dream house.

Can art change the world, or just make it prettier?

Art builds creativity, which can change the world.

J.Lo: Good or evil?

Evil, and full of drama.

Erin Jorgensen
Punk-rock marimba player
When did you first realize that you had Pizzazz!?

When I was a fetus.

Who do you count as your influences/inspirations?

Once I smashed my thumb and they gave me a Dilaudid drip in the hospital. That was fairly inspirational.

If you could have one talent besides the one you're showcasing in Pizzazz!, what would it be?

Retractable poison fangs. Also, I want "Ride of the Valkyries" to start playing whenever I enter a room.

When you get to be rich and famous, what will be your biggest extravagance?

First, all my enemies will be torpedoed into outer space. Then I will buy a pony.

Can art change the world, or just make it prettier?

If playing Johnny Thunders covers on a five-octave marimba won't change the world, I don't know what will.

J.Lo: Good or evil?

A J.Lo haiku:

Former monobrow

Who cares about your huge ass?

You are a dipshit.

Miss H and her Phabulous Hoop
Hula-hoop artiste
When did you first realize that you had Pizzazz!?

In second grade, when I was picked to memorize the longest Bible verse to recite at the Christmas service.

Who do you count as your influences/inspirations?

L.A. hooper/fire performer Sita Luna, the Hoop Divas of Seattle, and Ariel Meadow Stallings, creator of hooping.org.

If you could have one talent besides the one you're showcasing in Pizzazz!, what would it be?

Actually, I already have one--I play bass guitar and sing.

When you get to be rich and famous, what will be your biggest extravagance?

Yummy wine, stinky cheese, and lots of massages.

Can art change the world, or just make it prettier?

It can change the world, cuz it reminds people how to feel.

J.Lo: Good or evil?

Evil.

Phillip Roebuck
One-man band
When did you first realize that you had Pizzazz!?

When I was practicing the banjo on a bench in NYC and someone threw me money.

Who do you count as your influences/inspirations?

My wife, my two children, and the oldest recordings I can find.

If you could have one talent besides the one you're showcasing in Pizzazz!, what would it be?

Stripping.

When you get to be rich and famous, what will be your biggest extravagance?

A movie theater and a Coke fountain in my house.

Can art change the world, or just make it prettier?

Art can definitely change the world.

J.Lo: Good or evil?

Good, from behind.

Sabura
Belly dancer
When did you first realize that you had Pizzazz!?

When people began complimenting my dancing and asking if I taught.

Who do you count as your influences/inspirations?

Mikhail Baryshnikov, Alvin Ailey, Naima Akef of Egypt, Hadia of Canada, Aziza of Portland, Momo Kadous of Germany, and Delilah, Tina, and Nabeela of Seattle. And my grandmother.

If you could have one talent besides the one you're showcasing in Pizzazz!, what would it be?

The ability to sing. If you sing, you carry your own music with you.

When you get to be rich and famous, what will be your biggest extravagance?

Travel and food.

Can art change the world, or just make it prettier?

Art definitely changes the world. It inspires, educates, and transforms.

J.Lo: Good or evil?

Who cares?

The Opera Diva
Sari Breznau (with help from Kevin Hinshaw, Jed Dunkerley, Jenny Iacobucci, Amy Horn, and Josh Gurnee)
When did you first realize that you had Pizzazz!?

When I was nominated "most likely to be an opera singer" at sixth-grade graduation. I don't think it was considered an honor. In fact, I'm pretty sure they were trying to be mean. They never liked me. I hate them.

Who do you count as your influences/inspirations?

Circus Contraption, Carol Burnett, vaudeville, Mary Poppins, and The Jerk.

If you could have one talent besides the one you're showcasing in Pizzazz!, what would it be?

Opposable toes, so I could swing from tree to tree like a monkey.

When you get to be rich and famous, what will be your biggest extravagance?

Massages, lots of lessons, a personal chef, and a grand piano.

Can art change the world, or just make it prettier?

Change the world, absolutely.

J.Lo: Good or evil?

I couldn't agree more.

The Poetry Experience
Poetry duo featuring mother and son Randee and Rajnii Eddins.
When did you first realize that you had Pizzazz!?

Randee: When I was seven. I came from a family of fast talkers, and we had to learn quickly how to be heard.

Who do you count as your influences/inspirations?

Randee: My children, and my late father, who published my first book of poetry when I was 16.

Rajnii: My mom and jazz and hiphop.

If you could have one talent besides the one you're showcasing in Pizzazz!, what would it be?

Randee: I'd love to paint.

Rajnii: Telepathy.

When you get to be rich and famous, what will be your biggest extravagance?

Randee: I'd start an organization for single parents who are artists.

Can art change the world, or just make it prettier?

Rajnii: Art has the capacity to transform the world or just cater to the status quo.

J.Lo: Good or evil?

Rajnii: Neutral.

Randee: How the heck do I know?