The Fireside Room
This wood-warmed space with its aristocratic chairs and fireplace can lift any spirit that walks in from the cold. Indeed, one even expects to see a gentleman, a Lord Something-or-Other with his wolfhound, enjoying a cup of Barnes & Watson tea as he mulls the day's business. "How do you do, sir?" say I to the lord I imagine finding in the Fireside Room. "Harry [the big, hairy dog] and I are enjoying a bit of warmth. The weather outside is just dreadful," he replies. "That it is, sir. I dare say, if it wasn't for the hope that this lively fire inspires, I would have killed myself, or done something awful like that." Anyway, you get the picture. Tea is served from 3:00 to 5:00 p.m. (Sorrento Hotel, 900 Madison St, 622-6400.) CHARLES MUDEDE
Murphy's Pub
The Irish know a thing or two about dealing with misery, which helps explain why Murphy's Pub in Wallingford is one of the comfiest bars in Seattle. Everything about the place exudes warmth, from the wood tables to the friendly smiles of the servers, to the fireplace cranking out heat in the corner. Mix in a healthy number of belly-warming beers on tap, along with a cheery clientele, and Murphy's will be just the spot to keep you from leaping off a bridge. (1928 N 45th St, 634-2110.) BRADLEY STEINBACHER
Martin's Off Madison
Placed in the center of this gay-friendly new Capitol Hill piano bar/restaurant is the most phallic fireplace you'll ever see: A round tube of glass, three feet in length, and wide enough for a bowling ball, running from an unpainted plywood base to an unpainted plywood crown. Inside the tube there is fire—a monolithic flame of blue and orange shooting upwards like... you know. Call it what you will—tube torch, flame rod, sizzle pillar—but you must worship the fire phallus. (1413 14th Ave, 325-7000.) DAVID SCHMADER
REI
Skiing, hunting, and snowshoeing are great and all, but the lodge is always where it's at. Especially the oversized hearth where you can drink your brandy or cocoa and regale the crowd with tales of derring-do. Fortunately, REI has a big-ass fireplace and a park-lodge interior you can enjoy without leaving the city—and scores of lovely wannabe outdoorsy types hunting for a rugged charmer with good stories. Bring a thermos of hot toddies and that yarn about the time you rescued a lost kid from a pack of hungry mountain wolves. You'll be a hit. (222 Yale Ave N, 223-1944.) BRENDAN KILEY
Paddy Coyne's Irish Pub
The gas fireplace at Paddy Coyne's Irish Pub puts out a lot of warmth, is flanked by large wooden benches, and flatters heat seekers with the gilded mirror hanging above its mantle. But what's hotter than the fireplace in this South Lake Union pub? Paddy Coyne's Guinness-braised beef stew, which warms a lot of customers on cold, dark evenings. (1190 Thomas St, 405-1548.) ELI SANDERS
The Deluxe Bar & Grill
The Deluxe on Broadway doesn't have a fireplace so much as a fire cube—a shoulder-high glass box nestled against the northern wall between two booths. If you sit at one of those tables, the fire is excruciatingly hot. Slide into the booth, order a bowl of soup, and prepare to shed layers of clothing and quarts of sweat. (625 Broadway E, 324-9697.) BRENDAN KILEY
Glass-Blowing Studios
Seattle has more blowing and more hot, hot glory-holes per capita than any other American city, thanks to the popularity of glass art. First you put your mouth on the shaft and blow, then you push the shaft into the gloryhole to get it hotter. (Do their mothers know what they're doing?) The gloryholes at Art by Fire in Ballard and Seattle Glassblowing Studio in Belltown are basically mounted buckets of fire at 2,300 degrees, so glass art beats a wool sweater. Subjugate something dangerous this season, and blow yourself. (Art by Fire, 5465 Leary Ave NW, 789-1490; Seattle Glass Blowing, 2227 Fifth Ave, 448-2181.) JEN GRAVES
Canterbury Ale & Eats
At most bars you have to rely on stiff drinks to warm you up—at the Canterbury on 15th they serve 'em strong and offer a little gas fireplace to help with the roasting. Space near the flaming logs is at a premium during winter months, so I'd suggest planting yourself right around happy hour and staying through the night. (534 15th Ave E, 322-3130.) JENNIFER MAERZ
Via Tribunali
If fire is your thing, Via Tribunali serves some of Seattle's best pizza (Neapolitan-style) straight from a big brick oven. The crisp, thin crusts are topped simply with meats, herbs, and cheeses of all kinds, and the wine list keeps patrons' cheeks nice and rosy. Plant yourself at the bar, have a bite and a sip, and let the oven's heat wash over you. (913 E Pike St, 322-9234.) JENNIFER MAERZ
Matador
The round fireplace bar is the centerpiece at Matador in Ballard. And while all the Dockers-wearing late-20s business-minded folks that frequent the joint might make you, with your unkempt hair and soggy clothes, feel a little less than desirable, just remember that everyone looks better with a face flushed by a hot flame. The alcohol will take care of the rest. (2221 NW Market St, 297-2855.) MEGAN SELING
Old Pequliar
Ballard's Old Pequliar is a sprawling-but-cozy neighborhood bar with neon beer signs, a (brightly lit!) internet jukebox, and a coterie of regulars who line up drinking Guinness along the heavy wooden bar. Grab a seat next to the tiny, welcoming stone fireplace, where you can warm yourself up before heading upstairs to a spacious game room featuring darts, pool, and old video games. (1722 NW Market St, 782-8886.) ERICA C. BARNETT
W Hotel
Nothing makes you feel warmer inside than watching a bunch of rich people on vacation. Sitting in the plush chairs and couches populating the W's elegant lobby, you can count designer shopping bags by the light of the hotel's gigantic fireplace. At the very least, your envy should keep you toasty. (1112 Fourth Ave, 264-6000.) JENNIFER MAERZ
Leilani Lanes
I know hearing bad news in the dead of winter is about as awesome as seeing a puppy get shot in the face, but you should know that Leilani Lanes, Greenwood's 44-year-old bowling alley, will be closing in March. Now that you're extra depressed, drag your ass to the alley's Lani Kai Lounge and bask in the heat of their impressive suspended fireplace while you've still got time. You'll feel better as your body warms up and the tiki décor fools your fucked-up mind into thinking you're vacationing on a far-away tropical island. (10201 Greenwood Ave N, 783-8010.) MEGAN SELING
Ray's Boathouse, Cafe & Catering
A trip to Ray's, the city's reigning salmon palace, can supply you with both a this-close view of the Olympics (provided that there's not too much winter haze) and the coziness of a seat by the fireplace. You have to order food to sit near the blaze, so consider some obvious old-school seafood appetizers—shrimp cocktail, raw oysters, and the like—to go with your martinis or bloody marys. (6049 Seaview Ave NW, 789-3770.) SARA DICKERMAN
Brasa
Brasa itself may be swank and sprawling, but its bar has a huddled intimacy of its own. It doesn't quite have a fireplace, but you can stare at the glowing mouth of the kitchen's wood-burning oven through your Brasa Manhattan (with fancy bourbon and orange bitters). That glowing pile of embers helps make for bar food that's memorable even after too many glasses of Ribera del Duero. Try the grape pizza with cabrales, clams with chorizo, and Moroccan steak sandwiches. (2107 Third Ave, 728-4220.) SARA DICKERMAN
22 Doors
Some of 22 Doors' 22 house cocktails are a little antic, just like the décor, but it's still a likeable place to drink, especially with its deep lineup of top-shelf bourbons and rums. You might warm up by the fireplace with one of several hot drinks (woohoo! chai and Captain Morgan's!), but for the ultimate L.A. simulation, sip your basil-grapefruit lemon drop under the artificial sunrays of the heat lamps on the deck. (405 15th Ave E, 324-6406.) SARA DICKERMAN