My Famous Mother/Downtown/Mon Jan 21/12 noon: Today, Seattle Police Chief Kerlikowske received a fax from a person identifying himself as the CEO of Vision Media TV. In the fax, the CEO stated that his client, legendary jazz singer Nancy Wilson (who was performing in Seattle that week), was being harassed by a SeaTac woman who lives on the notorious International Boulevard strip (the strip is famous for the Green River murders and very cheap motels). The SeaTac woman, explained the CEO, claimed to be the abandoned daughter of the jazz celebrity, and wanted a large settlement for her mother's neglect. The CEO requested additional security from the police chief for his very important client.

Lover's Rock/Ballard/Mon Feb 4/12:39 am: A woman called the police and reported that her husband of three months (they first met five months ago) tried to strangle her. It happened like this: They were in a docked boat when she told him that she was tired of him and wanted to end their brief marriage. Five months ago it was all passion and kisses, which sprang from their lips so easily. But tonight, all that remained of their early autumn romance was the dull reality of a gray-haired man in his late 40s (she is in her late 30s). She wanted to leave; he wanted her to stay. They argued. She got tired of arguing and lay down on the couch to sleep. She awoke moments later to find her husband's hands wrapped around her neck. She did not, however, struggle or try liberating her neck from his death-determined grip. She just watched him. But his senses returned and he let go of her life. She stood up. He found the keys to the boat, and promised to crash it into the Ballard Locks. She got off the boat, ran down the pier, and, from a safe distance, watched her husband dissolve into a mess of pain and misery.

The Greatest Housebreaker/Columbia City/Wed Feb 6/1:07 pm: Officer Sam Byrd was dispatched to a house in Columbia City, where he met with a women who told him this story: A male neighbor she had been friends with for many years recently wanted to get personal. She refused. Since then, the neighbor has been acting strangely. He started telling her that he was a professional burglar, and no house could resist his gift with locks and bolts. At one time, he broke into her house, stole her underwear, and then gave them back to her as evidence of his housebreaking skills. Though she hasn't been threatened by her neighbor, she wanted the police to document the underwear incident.