Horrorsville/West Seattle/Thurs Oct 3/2:42 pm: While working on a West Seattle man's home, a construction crew discovered what appeared to be human bones. The West Seattle homeowner was informed of the find, and he immediately called the police. Sergeant Hicks responded to the scene. After looking at the remains, Sergeant Hicks decided he needed the assistance of an expert to determine the origin of the mysterious bones. M. E. (Medical Examiner) Kathy Taylor responded to the scene, examined the bones, and concluded that they were (1) ancient, and (2) "of a human Native American." Taylor advised Sergeant Hicks not to mess with the bones, and to call the Burke Museum in Olympia for further instructions. Yes, the West Seattle house was built on a Native American burial site. Need I say more?

Homophobic Street Signs/Capitol Hill/Sat Oct 5/5:50 pm: A man was walking toward Seattle Central Community College when he came across "a small bundle of sticks on the ground." The man was upset about the bundle of sticks because he considered it to be "an affront to homosexuality." He called the police and Officer Giese responded to the scene. Officer Giese writes: "There was no sign or other identifier on this bundle of sticks. I made an area search to locate other bundles of sticks. The result was negative."

My Bloody Birthday Party/Rainer Valley/Sun Oct 6/12:18 pm: Though I have read and reread this report (there was a serious language barrier between the crime--which was conducted in Vietnamese--and the reporting officer, Officer Conine), the only thing I'm certain of is its conclusion: A man was stabbed in the neck with a broken beer bottle. That said, here is my interpretation of the incident report:

After throwing a birthday party for her son, a woman was called by her former lover, the father of the birthday boy. The former lover asked if he could visit her, and she said yes. They were still on friendly terms. After the former lover had been in her apartment for a while, they got into a discussion concerning their son. Officer Conine writes: "[The former lover] asked why [his son] was not larger in physical stature, like the other children in the neighborhood. The woman explained that it was because they were both Asian, and smaller in stature themselves. Because of this, their child would also be smaller. [The former lover] was not responsive to the idea. [The current lover, with whom the woman also shares a son,] joined in the conversation, siding with the woman. The argument intensified.... At some point [the former lover and current lover] began fighting."

After several huffs and puffs and blows, the former lover "overpowered the [current lover]... picked up a nearby beer bottle, smashed it on the kitchen table, and stabbed the current lover in the neck." The former lover then fled the scene. The police were called and the current lover, who had a one-inch stab wound on the left side of his neck, was transported to Harborview Medical Center for treatment.