Three Free Cigarettes for $1/Rainier Valley/Sun Nov 17/12:30 pm: Officer Truscott writes: "Today [I] conducted a routine business/ premises check at the Lucky One convenience store. Behind the sales counter there were two Styrofoam cups containing individual cigarettes for sale. The cigarettes had been taken out of cigarette packs. '3 for $1.00 or 39 cents each' was written on the outside of the cups.

"I advised the owner that it was illegal to sell individual cigarettes out of the pack. He said that the cigarettes were not actually for sale, but were like the chips '3 for a $1.00.' I didn't understand what he meant. I left a business card with the clerk."

Front Yard Victims/White Center/Mon Nov 18/3:04 pm: Victim 1 stated she was playing outside when a naked man came up to her and said, "You have something in your yard."

Victim 2 stated he was playing football outside when a totally naked man walked up to them and said, "There is something in your yard."

Victim 3 stated he was outside playing football when a "buck naked" man walked up and said, "Look, you have something in your yard."

Victim 4 stated she was watching her friends play football when a totally naked man walked into the yard.

Victim 5 stated that at exactly 3 pm, four victims came running into his house saying there was a naked man in the front yard. He looked out the front window and saw a man standing stark naked in the front yard. The suspect stood there for a moment and then walked away.

The Ideal Neck Roller/Rainier Beach/Wed Nov 20/2:45 pm: Officer Nelson writes: "For a period of about two months, I have been routinely patrolling the area of Rainier Ave S/S Henderson St, particularly the southeast corner. This area has been the site of numerous disturbances, fights, trespassing, narcotics activity, etc., particularly after school lets out. Subjects tend to congregate on this corner after school, many not catching buses. I have observed suspect come to the bus stop after school on numerous occasions and not get on any bus. I have warned her at least three times to leave the bus stop/shelter, as she let numerous buses go by without boarding. I have also warned her twice about smoking underage. During the first warning, she stated, 'Bitch, I'm 18 and I can fucking smoke if I wanna, ain't no motherfucking police gonna tell me I can't.' (Suspect is 17.)

"Today, I observed suspect again at the bus stop/shelter. Three busses went by. I asked her, 'Are you catching a bus today, ma'am?' She replied, 'No I ain't, motherfuckin' police.' I issued her a trespass admonishment card, and she said, 'Fuck you, bitch, I'll be back here tomorrow and the next day and the day after that!'

"About 30 minutes later, while still on patrol in the area, she saw me and yelled, 'Hey white police bitch, I'm gonna be back here tomorrow at 2:30, and you just gonna have to arrest me.'"

Each time the impertinent teen is quoted in this report, I picture her "neck rolling" Officer Nelson.

charles@thestranger.com

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