The Story Unfolds

The Tree Teens/West Seattle/Wed June 11/2:04 pm: Upon making contact with witness number two, Officer Norman was told that on the 11th of June, at about 7 pm, witness number two's husband (witness number one) and her son (the victim) were riding bikes on the 3400 block of 45th Ave SW. While heading southbound on the street, they saw near the front of Madison Middle School two teens (suspect one and two) "throwing stuff at some trees." (What stuff? And why at trees?) The two teens then saw the victim and began to make obscene gestures at him. Officer Norman writes: "They started shouting, 'I hate fags! You are a little cocksucker!' The two teens got on their bikes and began to follow the family. When witness two told the teens that she would be contacting their parents, one of them shouted, 'My parents hate fags!' After a couple of blocks the two teens left.

"This morning, witness two called [her son's school] and informed them of the incident. Note: Witness two informed me that her son is gay and belongs to a school [gay] group."

The Paper Chase/Ravenna/Thurs June 12/6:15 pm: This report included two pieces of evidence. Number one: one 5" x 8" piece of white paper with the words "Your wife's titties our nice and fat" written with a blue marker. There is also a drawing of a male grabbing a female's chest area. Number two: two 5" x 8" pieces of white paper. One paper has the words "Your Bitches our Mine" and the other paper has a drawing of a male having sexual intercourse with a female.

Officer Gardea reports: "Complainant stated that her husband found evidence one inside their mailbox today. The complainant's husband felt that the obscene drawing was directed towards his family and that is why he called the police. The words on the paper were misspelled and the drawing appeared to be that of a young person.... I drove around the neighborhood checking other mailboxes for other pieces of paper like the complainant's husband had found, and I located evidence number two inside the mailbox of the second victim's home. The drawing and the comments also appeared to be that of a young person and were also written with a blue marker. It appeared to me that a young person was possibly playing pranks in that particular neighborhood, but the comments were not directed at a specific person." Superb police work, Officer Gardea--a surname that contains the shades of three beautiful words: garden, idea, and guard.

The Unfolding/Capitol Hill/Thurs July 12/11:53 pm: This report is rather dull. An obnoxious transient begging for money in front of R Place on Pine Street causes a disturbance and is arrested. ("Give me a dollar, you faggot!" is how he asks for money.) What makes the report invaluable is Officer Runolfson's opening line, "The story unfolds as follows...." Of all the police reports I have read over the past four or so years, none has a better opening line than that.

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