Spare the Open Hand/West Seattle/Sat June 28/9 pm: Officer McKissack writes: "On the above date and time I was dispatched to check on a 14-year-old female claiming she is being abused. I contacted the victim, who said her mom spanked her with a hanger after an argument with her sister. She said her mom hit her with the hanger on the buttocks. She did not feel comfortable with me looking at her injuries. I called for a female officer. I contacted the suspect, who does not speak English. I had her son interpret for me. I asked the mother what had happened and she said [by way of the boy translator] that [the parents] have had a lot of problems with the 14-year-old daughter not following the family rules. The parents are from Vietnam and the daughter is growing up in the American culture.

"Tonight the daughter got into an argument with her sister and was out of control. The mom said she spanked her using a coat hanger. I asked her to show me the coat hanger. She brought it out to me and I confirmed with the victim that it was the correct one. The coat hanger is a light flimsy rubbery-plastic coat hanger. It was very light and not capable of leaving permanent marks when used in a spanking fashion. Officer Vanskike saw the marks and said they looked consistent with the mom spanking the child. I determined no crime had occurred. The marks were red and nothing that would be permanent or leave a bruise. The coat hanger was not significant to cause any injuries.

"I advised the mother to use her open hand in the future to spank her [Americanized daughter]. I told her that it sounds bad to be hit with a hanger. Most people assume it is a metal hanger, which could cause permanent damage, and an open hand sounds better. The daughter said she would try to follow her parents' rules and cooperate with them."

Wife from Around the Block/Capitol Hill/Mon June 30/10:35 pm: Reporting officer Ortiz writes, "On the above date and time, the [female] victim received a phone call from the suspect, who identified herself as the wife of the man whom [the victim] has been dating for the last few months. The suspect called from an unlisted number. The caller told the victim, 'You better watch out, we're coming to get you. Don't fuck with Puerto Ricans, we use knives,' and 'You messed with the wrong person.' The victim found out from a co-worker that the suspect had showed up at [the victim's] place of employment and asked for her phone number. I advised the victim to apply for a restraining order and I gave her an incident number."

The Biggest Question/University District/Tues July 1/5:30 pm: After threatening his roommate ("I'm going to poison your food. I grow hemlock in my garden"), the suspect in this report, penned by Officer K. Pio, asks the biggest question of all: "What would I do if there were no laws?" Indeed! Dear reader, after you exit this week's Police Beat, also confront yourself with the biggest question of all: "What would I do if there were no laws?"