Men in black


Fri July 16, 11:00 pm: Tonight, a man and his family were at home watching TV when his 14-year-old daughter saw someone wearing a black mask looking through a window into their living room. She screamed, and her father ran to the window just in time to see three males, all dressed in black and wearing masks, running into the wooded area behind the house. The father told police that he suspected that they lived in the neighborhood but that he didn't know who they were. There was no sign that they tried to break into the house.

She's a screamer

Lake City

Sat July 17, 1:52 am: A man in a trailer park near 96th St. called 911 to say that he heard his neighbor screaming in distress. Officer Green responded to the call and tracked down the screaming woman, but she wasn't in the park. She was on the second floor of an apartment building next door. As Green carefully approached the building he saw the screaming woman throw glass out her window, which shattered on the parking lot below. When he finally made it to the screaming woman, he "attempted to establish some type of dialogue with her but had little success," as he found "her thoughts were disjointed and incomplete, and her mood shifts changed drastically from one moment to the next." He added, in the tone of a parent dealing with a particularly problematic three-year-old, that "several times I was able to calm her down by asking questions about minuscule topics. However, moments later she would begin screaming, shouting, and jumping out of her seat." Exasperated, Officer Green shipped the woman off to Harborview Medical Center and completed a mental health contact sheet.

He had a condom

Rainier Valley

Sat July 17, 11:50 pm: A 15-year-old girl was waiting outside a building for her mother when she was approached by a 20-year-old man, who asked what she was doing. She explained what she was doing, despite the fact that it was none of his business. He then suggested that the two of them slip around the corner and, you know. He claimed that he had a condom just to "play it safe." The girl told him she was too young to be doing that sort of thing. He emphasized again that he did have a condom just to "play it safe." She said no, again. The guy finally gave up and left.

He had a silver face


Sun July 18, 5:00 am: A 19-year-old woman at a rave that was held in an indoor soccer arena on Marginal Way stepped into a Honey Bucket to relieve herself. But before she locked the door, a man with a silver face ran in and locked the door behind him. The silver man then told the woman to take off her underwear! She refused! A struggle exploded in the tiny portable toilet and the young woman was able to force her silver attacker out of the Honey Bucket. She called security, who called the cops, who conducted a round-up of several possible suspects with silver faces. They were all cleared by the victim.

"I didn't realize he was so young!"

West Seattle

Tues July 20, 3:15 pm: A concerned citizen informed a police officer of a suspicious 29-year-old man standing too close to a group of girls and boys sunbathing at Alki Beach. The officer saw the man, who had since zeroed in on two young, sunbathing males. The officer approached the lingering observer and asked for identification. As the man handed the cop his ID he asked, "What's wrong? I was just looking for a spot on the beach that's less windy." The officer ignored the explanation and ran a check on the suspect's name -- it turned out he was a registered sex offender! Apparently, 12 years ago, this man had molested an 11-year-old boy. The police officer returned to the sex offender (now sitting next to a young male!), and told him that he was aware of his status in society and that, really, he should not be talking or standing near anyone under 18 (the young male was 16). The sex offender said, "I didn't realize he was so young!" The officer asked the sex offender to leave the park for the day, which he did peacefully.

Tools of the trade

Capitol Hill

Thurs July 22, 2:27 am: A car thief was on his way to work when he was stopped by the cops for failing to use his signal while making a right turn. Now, this area is a high car-prowl/auto-theft area, so the officer had his suspicions. When he asked the car thief where he was going, the thief replied, "To White Center." The officer noticed a big bag in the back seat and asked if he could look inside. The car thief permitted him to do so. When the cop opened the bag, he found "tools commonly used in the commission of auto thefts." There was a "dent puller, a cordless drill, bolt cutters, black gloves, a crowbar, screwdrivers, flashlights, and a programmable garage door opener." All items were placed into evidence and the car thief was I and R'd (investigated and released).

He played bag pipes


Thurs July 22, various times: A certain Mary Ward requested a written report be filed for an ongoing noise disturbance that's driving her crazy! Apparently a 29-year-old bagpipe player from Tacoma performs on the corner of 4th and Pike, pumping out that awful, painful, wailing music beloved only by Scots, while she is in her office (on the 8th floor of her building) trying to earn a buck. The bagpipe player, whose name is Huthinson, was advised of the complaint. There is also construction going on in the area, adding humming and vibrations to those fucking bagpipes.

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