While on the Bead Patrol/Seattle Center/Fri Dec 10/5:17 pm: InterGem is a Maryland-based company that runs a gem and jewelry show that tours the nation and has, according to its website, "the largest selection of unique and fine jewelry, precious and semi-precious gemstones, fresh-water and cultured pearls, antique and estate jewelry, and fabulous jewelry of the stars…" This is from a press release distributed by e-mail long before the show visited Seattle earlier this month: "InterGem is pleased to announce its second year of Bead Shows! The show [to be held at the Seattle Center on December 10, 2004], will focus entirely on beads. All booths must have 90 percent beads or bead-related items. The only exception will be exhibitors who sell tools, equipment, and literature."

This is from a police report filed by Detective Bruce Larsen of the SPD: "[I] was working off-duty at the bead show at the Seattle Center in the Exhibition Hall. A witness [a male merchant from Los Angeles] observed the suspect [race: white; sex: female; age: 56; height: 5'4"; weight: 125 lbs.; hair: brown; eyes: blue; skin tone: fair; build: thin; peculiarities: none--she has no recognizable scars, marks, or tattoos] palming and pursing a strand of moonstones. The suspect was also carrying around a tray of various stones that she intended to purchase. The witness noticed that the suspect was acting very suspicious. He had one of his business partners go and get me [the off-duty officer]. In the meantime, the merchant from Los Angeles confronted the suspect [who is from Mukilteo] and asked to look inside her purse. She reached into her purse, pulled out a handful of beads and pearls, and quickly threw them under a skirted table that she was standing next to, in the hope of concealing her illegal possession of the precious and semi-precious items. However, two other witnesses [a merchant from New York and a merchant from Denver] exposed her little ruse.

"Upon arrival at the scene, I retrieved the strands of onyx beads, heart beads, and pearls from the floor. None of the beads, hearts, or pearls belonged to Sun Light Gems [the first witness' L.A.-based company]. I obtained a photo ID from the suspect's purse and ran her name on the [cop] computer. She had no warrants or prior criminal history. The suspect apologized for the theft, and said she had no money, credit cards, or checks and was unable to pay for anything at the bead show. I returned the stolen property to various vendors. Most of the victims were from out of state. The only two local victims were Grand Products, of Seattle, and Journey in Port Angeles. The suspect was then released pending charges at a future date."

No other common object resembles the human soul more than a purse, a proper handbag with thick skin, metal clasps, and a cushy womb. This is why we can determine the contents of a lady's soul by opening and looking at the contents of her purse.